#doesn’t even have to be a theme but you could have some fun imagery about it

[starless-planet]

I’m holding the story of Icarus in one hand and the legend of phoenixes in the other like two ingredients I’m sure would taste really good together but don’t have a recipe for

[merp-blerp]

Gaylor/Kaylor and Oz: Parallels and Theories 🌼🌈❇️

CW: Light Spoilers for L. Frank Baum's Oz book series (books 1-15) and major spoilers for Return to Oz (1985). And this post is very late-stage-Kaylor-specific, so if that's not up your alley, that's chill.

There is now a Vol. 2 with new additions and info! I recommend reading this part first.

Overblown Analysis Under the Cut ↓

As a huge Oz nerd, I and many others have noticed many Oz media parallels in Taylor's music. I wanted to piece together some I've seen mentioned and some I've noticed myself. More things could pop up as time goes on, so I could imagine me editing or making a second part to this post if necessary.

Part 1: Rainbows 🌈

In the 1939 film, Dorothy's home, Kansas, is portrayed as a dreary sepia or greige color, that way the contrast to the gorgeous technicolor of the land of Oz could be even more effective on the audience. Somewhat surprisingly I guess, this sepia color is reflected in the book, with Kansas being described as "the great grey prairie" and even W. W. Denslow's original illustrations of Kansas being colored in greige; the pages don't include more color until Dorothy is swept into the cyclone on her way to Oz.

So many of Taylor's lyrics describe events turning her world from colorless to colorful or vice versa. "The rest of the world was black and white // But we were in screaming color" from "OOTW", "You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else" from "Illicit Affairs", "If all you want is gray for me // Then it's just white noise, and it's my choice" from "BDILH", "Like a rainbow with all of the colors" from "ME!" turning into "I'm just... in shades of greige" from "The Prophecy", etc.

For TTPD, from a gaylor perspective, the sepia and greige theme of the album is supposed to reflect that for Taylor the closet is colorless and sad. It also invokes old Hollywood and how closeting is an old-fashioned practice figuratively and literally. Closeting is a practice based on outdated mindsets and fears and it's been a practice since Hollywood as we know it today was beginning to be established. MGM Dorothy actress Judy Garland was in at least one lavender marriage and might've been queer herself, but the latter isn't as confirmed as other victims of closeting of the time like, say, her husband Vincente Minnelli. Taylor often utilizes vintage imagery in her music, romanticizing it, but the song "TTPD" (and other points in the album) calls her out for it with her lover having to remind Taylor that they are living in modern times despite being held down by old-fashioned ideals. The Wizard of Oz (1939) film is arguably the epitome of old Hollywood nostalgia, so it makes sense for Taylor to use it as a way to tell the story she wants to tell, especially if it's a queer one since Oz is very special to a lot of queer people.

For what it's worth, Ashley Park performed the film's song, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on The Drew Barrymore Show in what looks to be the Christian Siriano rainbow dress. Fun! Curiously, I can't find a video of this performance, I just happened to stumble upon this GIF on giphy.com and an article talking about the performance.

As an extra tidbit, in the Oz books, the rainbow is personified in the character Polychrome, the youngest daughter of the rainbow. She happens to be featured in one half of a certain famous quote from The Road to Oz. Polychrome comments, "You have some queer friends, Dorothy," to which Dorothy responds, "The queerness doesn’t matter, so long as they’re friends." This quote is theorized to be the inspiration for the phrase "friend(s) of Dorothy" in queer slang. And it's nice to have a friend like Dorothea, of course. Speaking of which...

Part 2: Dorothy and Ozma ����️🌺

Dorothy Gale needs no introduction, but I will give Princess/Queen Ozma one since she's a more niche character. Ozma is the rightful ruler of Oz. The "Wizard", Oscar Diggs, was not meant to rule over Oz. He went to great lengths to usurp the throne from Ozma's father, Pastoria, and hide Ozma away as a baby, dumping her on a witch named Mombi, who enslaves her and disguises her as a boy named Tip so she and others won't know her identity. She learns the truth about who she is and takes back her throne in book 2, The Marvelous Land of Oz (This backstory is why Ozma is a trans icon, along with a sapphic one). Ozma and Dorothy meet each other in book 3, Ozma of Oz, and are inseparable from there on. A common queer interpretation of Oz sees Kansas as like the closet and Oz as being out and free. A part of why the queer interpretations of Oz work particularly well in the books is because in The Emerald City of Oz, Dorothy and her Kansas family move to Oz permanently when Kansas stops being liveable for them. So Dorothy becomes the second ruler of Oz and Ozma's "constant companion" at Ozma's "proposal", as L. Frank Baum describes it. Dorothy is the only person allowed in Ozma's bedroom unannounced, which is cutely domestic. Baum's story and John R. Neil's illustrations of the two often depict them as being very close, holding hands, and kissing. It's not really knowable if Baum intended for it to be seen this way, but many modern Oz book fans see them as a couple.

Naturally, there's the theory that Taylor's song "Dorothea" is about Karlie, as well as the fact that Karlie dressed up as Dorothy for Halloween 2023 and did a partly-Oz-inspired photoshoot in 2010, among other Oz-themed things. Also, after the first book, Baum had a falling out with Denslow and appointed a new illustrator, John R. Neil; Neil's design of Dorothy sports a blonde bob, which reminds me of the "Karlie Kut" a bit, even if that's coincidental. Since the Karlie as Dorothy theory is pretty well established, I want to forward a theory about Taylor taking on the role of Ozma.

For starters, Taylor wears a gingham green dress in her music video for "Karma (ft. Ice Spice)" as she skips and sweeps down a yellow brick road in red shoes, looped braids, and lemon beret. This outfit is a bit perplexing, as while it seems very Dorothy-inspired, it actively makes itself just different enough from how Dorothy is illustrated in the first Oz book and seen in pop culture. It could be suggested that this is for copyright reasons since 1939 Dorothy is not in the public domain yet and using that likeness would require making a payment. However, thanks to the book specifically describing/illustrating Dorothy as wearing blue and white gingham and pigtail braids, these features can still be used, as all of Baum's Oz novels are in the public domain. Oddly, the only potentially copyright-able aspect of Dorothy's costume is the one that Taylor kept, the ruby slippers exclusive to MGM's '39 film, since in the book Dorothy's shoes are silver. So why were all these unnecessary changes here?

My main theory is that Taylor is subtly invoking Ozma in a way that would still be recognizably Oz-ian, as I don't think most people would catch on to the Oz reference if Taylor dressed as a more accurate-looking Ozma. Hence why the gingham and red shoes are present even though Ozma is never described as wearing anything like that. Ozma is often depicted in long flowing white or green dresses. And while Ozma's hair is usually free in Neil's illustrations, her hair is sometimes tied into a bun, and Taylor's looped braids seem to be in the same family as a bun (I don't know how else to say that, I hope you get what I mean...). The lemon beret is hard to explain. As far as I know/can recall, lemons have never played a major role in any Oz media, so my guess is that the hat is meant to match the yellow brick road or maybe slightly invoke the fighting trees from the film and book. Since Taylor's outfit is similar but not the same as Dorothy's, it could be interpreted as Taylor dressing as someone adjacent to Dorothy, or a friend of Dorothy's, and Ozma would definitely fit that title. Ozma is also a fairy, so this also lines up with my Taylor is the beast to Karlie's beauty theory, since a fairy is a creature. And as the small, coincidental cherry on top, Ozma was originally described as blonde like Taylor in the story's text, despite the fact that Neil always drew her as a brunette. Dorothy's appearance outside of her clothes is rarely if ever given, that way anyone could see themselves in Dorothy, her design not mattering too greatly. The only clue to her physical looks is in the illustrations, but the consistency changes over the Oz series when it comes to Dorothy's design, so again it doesn't matter. Kind of like how, whether a song has male pronouns or not, it’s always describing Karlie, the "design" of the muse not mattering. And it actually does make some sense for Ozma to have the ruby slippers, even though she never had them in the books, but more on that in the next part. If Karlie is Dorothy, Taylor is Ozma.

An alternate, more flimsy idea is that Taylor is dressed as Dorothy in her green dress returning to the Wizard with the wicked witch's broom as proof that she melted her. However, this doesn't quite work for me personally, as in the film, Dorothy never got a green dress from the Emerald City. And while book Dorothy did get a "green" dress, she never had to bring the witch's broom to the Wizard and her dress wasn't actually green but white; it only appeared green in the Emerald City due to the green spectacles everyone was tricked into wearing by the shamming Wizard. And of course, book Dorothy's slippers weren't red like Taylor's, but silver. Maybe I'm being too particular, but to me, the details of the two titular versions of Oz make this idea weak.

Another idea is that Taylor is dressed as an amalgamation of Dorothy and the witch, which is definitely an interesting thought. In the 1st book, both Dorothy and the witch have no magic of their own and need to obtain magical items, like the silver shoes or the golden cap. But the difference is that the witch uses her power to do evil while Dorothy doesn't know the power she has, even by the time the shoes get her to Kansas again, as they presumably could do way more than that. The idea of Taylor combining the two is interesting, but again the red shoes put me off.

I think the Ozma theory works the best (and I think it's the cutest).

The story of Ozma being unrightfully taken from her throne and hidden away from everyone and herself reminds me of many stories told through Taylor's music. Lyrics like "I (I) don't (don't) like your kingdom keys (keys) // They (they) once belonged to me (me) // You (you) asked me for a place to sleep // Locked me out and threw a feast (what?)" from "LWYMMD" and trapped imagery in MVs like "Willow" feel somewhat reminiscent of that story.

Taylor isn't any kind of genderqueer as far as anyone publicly knows for sure, but Taylor definitely seems to have no problem with aligning herself with masculinity and taking on male roles. Take things like the wonderland photoshoot (Lordy! 🤭), Taylor semi-confirming she's Folklore's JaMEs, "The Man", "Peter", and maybe etc. Ozma being a girl but forced to present as a guy for years could be seen as similar to Taylor having to paint some of her songs about women as being from a male perspective, or some songs never being officially said to be from a male perspective being assumed to be so anyway, like "Question...?"

One more small parallel between Taylor and Ozma: Ozma is often pictured as wearing two poppies, one on each side of her head, seemingly in her hair or connected to her crown. Reminds me of "Say a solemn prayer, place a poppy in my hair" from "The Great War".

Part 3: Return to Oz 👠

Return to Oz (1985) is an unofficial sequel to The Wizard of Oz (1939) made by Disney. It takes the stories of The Marvelous Land of Oz and Ozma of Oz and combines them into an original story. At least in America, this is the only feature-length film to feature Ozma and attempt to vaguely adapt the novels more closely. (Context for RTO photos in the image descriptions, which is the case for every image and GIF on this post because why the hell not)

Return to Oz adds a setting that wasn't featured in any of the Oz books: a mental hospital. Aunt Em and Uncle Henry, concerned that Dorothy isn't sleeping and won't stop insisting Oz is real, send Dorothy to a mental hospital in an attempt to get her help (not out of malice). As we know, TTPD features the theme of asylums prevalently. The treatment chosen to help Dorothy is electroshock therapy, similar to Taylor receiving electroshock therapy in the MV for "Fortnight". In "Down Bad", Taylor says, "They'll say I'm nuts if I talk about the existence of you", just like how Em and Henry thought Dorothy needed psychiatric help when she talked about Oz being real.

When Dorothy stays over at the hospital for treatment, a character named Nurse Wilson (Kansas doppelganger of Mombi) escorts her to her room; Nurse Wilson wears a black dress very similar in style to Taylor's black dress from "Fortnight".

When the power goes out and the electroshock therapy isn't given a chance to begin, a fellow patient revealed later to be Ozma helps Dorothy escape the asylum by freeing her from the bed she's strapped to and bolting with her. Ozma and Dorothy slip into a river while running away, in which Ozma finds an abandoned chicken coop for Dorothy to ride through said river to Oz, Dorothy fearing Ozma drowned during the process until the end of the film. This is similar to Taylor and Post Malone's character escaping the asylum after Post cuts the power in "Fortnight". Ozma unstrapping Dorothy from her bed is similar to the nurse who unchains Taylor from the bed in "Fortnight", theorized to be played by Karlie herself. And Ozma finding the coop for Dorothy to ride away on is reminiscent of Taylor clinging to her piano in "Cardigan". Clinging to something when in rough water is common imagery, so it could definitely be coincidental, but I thought I'd mention it.

In this film, Ozma is trapped in a mirror by the witch Mombi, reminiscent of Taylor depicting herself as trapped behind glass closets in numerous MVs. After Dorothy saves Oz, she is the one to free Ozma from her glass prison by touching her hand and guiding her out of the glass, similar to Post and Taylor in the last scene in the "Fortnight" MV. Ozma in the mirror behaves like Dorothy's reflection, which reminds me of Taylor having Post's tattoos when she wipes her face in the mirror as if to say she's a reflection of his character.

Dorothy gives Ozma the ruby slippers before leaving Oz (Disney paid for the right to use them). That could help to explain why Taylor wears the ruby slippers that Ozma never had in the books if she's truly dressed as Ozma. And notably, when dressing up as Dorothy for Halloween, Karlie wore a full Dorothy costume, except for the ruby/silver slippers, arguably the most important part. As if Karlie was in "Kansas" and gave Taylor her shoes.

Dorothy chooses to return home in the end, but Ozma gifts her a way for them to communicate: through her mirror. This way Ozma can watch over her and when Dorothy wants to return to Oz, Ozma will make it happen. I've mentioned the parallels with the glass closets, but this also reminds me of "A tiny screen's the only place I see you now" from "Dorothea". In the book and '39 film, Dorothy uses her shoes to get back to Kansas, but in RTO, they are presumably going to be used to get Dorothy back to Oz when the time is right. So maybe after Taylor potentially comes out she will use Karlie's ruby slippers to sweep into the rescue and save Karlie from Kansas/the closet and back to Oz/freedom with her. Outside of RTO, it could also work the other way, with Taylor using the shoes to go home, especially with all the lyrics Taylor's had about returning home to/with her lover. Kansas doesn't represent anything bad in the original story, so it's possible that Kansas isn't a debilitating cage/closet, just home where you feel safe with the ones you love. Ozma also encourages Dorothy to keep their communication secret. Dorothy wants Aunt Em and Uncle Henry to know of Ozma, as she calls for Em to come and look as soon as she summons Ozma. But Ozma seems to see it as best kept quiet, no exact reason given to the audience from what I can tell, but it's understood by Dorothy and Ozma themselves. Pretty similar to Kar and Tay maintaining their closet for reasons we gaylors don't fully get to know, at least not yet.

(I didn't know where to put this little factoid, but in this film, the only times Ozma really smiles is at Dorothy. It's not important, just a bit cute and sad.)

And as a bonus for you Spade riddle fans out there, when Dorothy meets Ozma in the hospital, Ozma gifts Dorothy a pumpkin because "it's Halloween soon". The pumpkin is a Kansas doppelganger to an Oz character called Jack Pumpkinhead, who calls both Ozma and Dorothy "Mom" because Dorothy saved him from Mombi and Ozma built him and brought him to life. A bit reminiscent of Karlie and Taylor having Levi and Elijah if you ask me. I'm admittedly not a huge riddles person because it goes a bit over my talents, but I think they're intriguing and I'm curious if the riddles and Oz/RTO together would mean anything.

There's debate on whether Post's character is supposed to represent Taylor working with herself to get free or Karlie. I think it could be either or even both in a convoluted way. I like both theories. If "Fortnight" is based on RTO, the roles of Ozma and Dorthy seem switched, with Dorothy rescuing Ozma from the asylum. However, the tattoo mirror scene suggests that Taylor is mirroring Post's character, or playing him, and if that's Karlie, maybe the MV could be seen as Taylor playing Karlie in a sense since they're "twins" whose pasts are "parallel lines", while Post is either playing Taylor or Karlie; they are one and the same. The MV is really interesting to ponder in general.

Part 4: Miscellaneous Oz Connections ❇️

Lightning round (filled with tons of reaches)! ⚡️

In the "ME!" MV, Taylor and Brandon running up to the green building with a rainbow beam on it whilst in green marching band outfits looks similar to Dorothy and her friends running toward the Emerald City in the '39 film.

The all-pink soldiers in the marching band scene of "ME!" remind me of Glinda's all-female red army in the books.

In "loml", Taylor sings "The coward claimed he was a lion", a reference to the cowardly lion.

The men in the "ME!" MV falling from the sky with umbrellas reminds me of Dorothy and her cousin Zeb falling through the sky with an umbrella down to Oz in Dorothy and the Wizard in Oz.

Taylor might've been in a Wizard of Oz play at her school in 2006. The linked post doesn't give too much evidence admittedly, but I think it's worth saying that the play at least happened at her school.

I wasn't sure where to put this mini-analysis, but I think it's interesting that Taylor associates Dianna Agron with Wonderland and Karlie with Oz and the differences that could suggest. Alice and Dorothy go through similar adventures, but the two go about them very differently. Dorothy adapts to Oz very quickly and loves it there, enough for it to be her second home. Meanwhile, Alice certainly doesn't enjoy Wonderland as much as Dorothy loves Oz, itching to get out and stay out. Dorothy is very active in her role, making friends and changing Oz forever, while Alice passively goes through the motions and lets things happen before escaping to the next thing. It seems like Baum wrote the Oz books to give children lessons on friendship, feminism, and more, while Lewis Carroll wrote the Alice books with the exact purpose of saying nothing and giving birth to the genre of "nonsense writing". And Wonderland is definitely a dream in the original two novels while Oz is a very real place in the books. I know the associations seemingly have to do with the muses’ actual taste in fairytales, but I wonder how the differences speak to the story Taylor’s spun in her music about them. Assuming both Oz and Wonderland are freedom to some degree, does Wonderland being temporary speak to Taylor and Dianna as a couple, while Taylor and Karlie are still ongoing IMO, just like the Oz book series to this day (Canonical Oz books are still being written by different authors. There’s 40+ of them)? Is there something in the fact that Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland is an English fairytale and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is considered the first American fairytale, and Karlie convinced Taylor to stay in America and live in New York rather than London where Dianna was? Do Alice and Dorothy’s different reactions to their discovered worlds speak to how both Karlie and Dianna feel about closeting vs being out or maybe how they feel toward Taylor in some way? I genuinely have no clue, but it's some interesting food for thought. (This isn't Dianna, Swiftgron, or Alice's Adventures in Wonderland slander btw, I don't know enough about Swiftgron besides the basics to do that.)

In Conclusion 🌼

I have no way of knowing if Taylor has even read the Oz books, seen Return to Oz, and knows all this information, but I think it's fun that these connections are there. If there are more connections you thought of or ones that you think I missed, let me know!

Thanks for reading!

[yxstxrdrxxm-a]

SYNOPSIS: Detectives are supposed to be trusted, right? So why does it feel like the one with her felt so… Hollow?

TW/s: delusional thinking, yandere tendencies, unrequited love, toxic dynamic/s, Heizou is fucked up in the head, short term isolation, pre heikazu matchup, nsfw tws include horrific imagery, body horror, arson, mutilation(?). Please dni if you are uncomfortable.

NOTE FROM HR: Happy late Valentine’s Day, miss Phitre (@a-dose-of-phitre). It seems your date went well with Heizou, but I’m rather concerned with how you’re looking right now. Is it just me, or did you plan to go with someone else?

Heizou is regarded by a lot of people for his expertise and quick wits as a detective. That in and of itself is normal, considering how he seems to excel in those aspects. However, what they don’t seem to remember about him is that he’s a bit of a trickster to the people he found… Fun to be with.

Don’t get him wrong, he likes doing it all in harmless fun. He doesn’t enjoy taking things too far if he could really help it, and to him, he didn’t want to put his recent dates through the horrific things he can do. But for some of them, they like stepping a bit too far from those boundaries he set for their sake.

One such incident is actually days before that happened. He has always wanted to save the ones he loved the most for last, since he thought that it felt more fitting to savor the time with his beloved, Kazuha.

“Oho? It seems that my partner in crime is up bright and early! And here I thought I have to get you again,” he told the woman as they met up by the park, grinning madly upon seeing her try to catch her breath. “Oh dear, relax, breathe. I’m not going to leave you behind, Febronia.”

His date, though, huffed. Catching her breath, the woman turned her head to face the cheeky detective, hitting his arm in return.

“Yeah, but not when you decided that we’d meet this far from our usual spot!”

The latter laughed once again. Oh, he knew what he did wasn’t right, but can you blame him? He wanted to play a little joke on her, and their destination would take ages if they met up in their regular area to walk there.

He’d have to blame Sara for that. She had told him he couldn’t use his motorcycle due to too many joyrides, and to add insult to injury, she confiscated it back at the agency! He couldn’t even show his face to her when it happened, and even Kazuha has told him that it was only inevitable.

The horrors, he says! All because she didn’t know how to have a sliver of fun… What a tragedy indeed.

“Well, you’d have to thank Sara for keeping my ride from me. She’s the one who told me to quit it, saying that I was only doing it for my leisure. The audacity of her to assume that I'm not even doing my job, too!”

Febronia rolled her eyes, hitting his shoulder with a scoff. It was obvious that he was simply being a drama queen, which isn't foreign to the two of them.

… Although, maybe it should have. After all, Heizou isn't always the one to act such a way, right?

“Anyways, why don't we go and see what you want to show me? If we spend too much time here, we're bound to miss whatever appointment we have for the trip.”

“Haha, right you are, my partner. Right this way!”

Arriving to their location, Febronia could tell that he has a preference with his choice of escape rooms. As a detective, he must be so keen and excited to be able to go through them, since he solves cases faster than a person can think.

Still… she did wonder if he remembered that she couldn't solve it, or to actually inform her that their venue would be so extravagant.

“Heizou, did you forget to tell me that this place would have a theme with masquerade?”

“Ah, I didn't,” he answered truthfully, snapping his fingers with a smile on his face. “Actually, I wanted to keep this as a surprise for you! After all, I've always thought about visiting a venue such as this, and we also have the appropriate attire before we head inside.”

Really now? She found it hard to believe. After all, this is the same man that knowingly hid this information from her, deeming that it isn't important. What a bother.

Still, by the sparkle in his eye, she found it hard to tell him no. It would simply be far too rude for her to turn him down when they're already at their destination.

“Okay, okay, fair enough,” Febronia answered, sighing. “I do hope you have the right outfit for us, mister detective. If you forgot about that, I'd seriously question if you want us to be shamed in there.”

“Nonsense,” he replied, patting her head with a cheeky grin. “It won't be that bad! All you need to do is just relax and have fun. After all, the outfits we'll get won't be too restricting… or even too eye-catching. I'd rather not have people stop us.”

Stop us?

“What do you mean by—”

“Anyways, here they are! Come, Watson!”

Heading inside, the masked guards simply nodded and stared at the dumbfounded date, this time out of confusion. He just cut her off, like he didn't want to hear her ask.

… What a strange predicament. She felt like something was up with him.

“Partner! Aren't you coming?”

Her eyes flitted over to the waiting Heizou, and she ran towards the entrance, ignoring the sorry looks of the masked men that followed the detective.

“Sorry, I got distracted,” she apologized to Heizou, but he simply shook his head. Holding her hand, he smiled and spoke, “It's alright. Anyway, let me lead the way.”

Walking down the empty halls, her eyes trailed down to their hands. Although hers were warm, Heizou’s felt… cold. Like there was no semblance of body heat coming out of them, or maybe he's not as warm there than other parts of his body.

Still, it made her worried. He doesn't talk much about himself, and this set of one of the many alarm bells in her head.

However, she kept quiet. She didn't want to make this awkward as is.

Arriving at the dressing room, he let her in first before he followed inside. Closing the door behind him, they were greeted with the multiple closets and drawers of clothes of all kinds: dresses, suits, gowns, and even others that aren't tied to the masquerade theme.

She reached over to one of the clothes, eyeing it then putting it on her body. It looked a bit short, so she dropped it.

“I'll go ahead and change in the bathroom,” he told her, opening the door to her left. “Just knock if you're done, okay, Watson?”

“Alright. It'll take a while before I can get dressed, so I hope you're fine with waiting.”

“Haha, I won't!”

…

It was only when he left that she turned her attention to the dresses, eyeing each and every one of them. Some were too gaudy, too revealing, and a few were just… nonsensical.

Sifting through each and every article of cloth she was given, Febronia’s brows furrowed in confusion. There were far too few that fit her taste, and it felt like she would be stuck there forever if she couldn't find something that fits her.

Then, she stops as she stares at the dress that fits her style well.

Granted, it was a pale white dress, the beading and accessories were that of crystals and golden leaves. There were even feathers that are on it, and combined with the heels and how it was tailored, it covered her enough that she could breathe but have the right places shown.

It was also not a form fitting dress, so she was relieved. The weirdest thing, though, is the veil of the mask that came with it. It was almost as though it wanted to cover her face.

Taking the dress and its mask, she looked down at the others and shrugged, turning around to put it on. The dress smelled nice, like it was freshly doused in mild perfume and washed as well.

Come to think of it, it looked cleaner than the ones she had to check. It's almost like it had been deliberately picked and hidden so she could find it.

What a strange coincidence. She felt like something isn't going so well because of how fortunate the tides have gone in her favor. Alas, it may just be a simple fluke or something of the sort.

As she discarded her original attire and put it on, she felt the weight of heaviness prior leave as it was on her body. And she was right—it fit her like a glove, and it complimented her body well. Though, looking at the colors, she's reminded of what a dove would look with it's pearly white condition.

God, I hope I don't stain this. It probably costs a fortune to even clean the slightest bit of stain here, too.

Walking to the door with her new get up and the heels that came with it (she swore she'd fall, so she needed to take her time walking in them), she knocked on the door.

Knock, knock.

“Heizou? I'm done changing! Are you done yet?”

… Nothing.

She knocked again.

Knock, knock.

“Heizou? Come on, this isn't funny.”

No response. The lights are flickering, but she paid no heed. She needed to see what was going on.

Knock, knock.

Knock, knock.

“Hey! Answer me, Heizou!”

This time, she turned the knob of the door, and was surprised that it wasn't even locked. No, she could open it.

What the hell?

Pushing the door, she rushed inside, catching a whiff of metallic and soot. Coughing, she swiped her hand so she could see and breathe clearly, and her eyes simply widened at the sight before her.

Heizou wasn't inside, but the room was up in flames. Some of the items were already burnt down, and the flames were reaching to the walls and on the door.

Stumbling out, she dashed to the exit and found that it was jammed. Febronia could only panic as the flames got out and entered the room she was inside.

“Heizou?! Heizou?!”

Slamming the door, she began to try and find something to use. Grabbing the chair, she began to slam it repeatedly, but to no avail.

Tossing it to the fire, it traveled to the clothes she discarded and it began to melt, letting the terrible stench of plastic greet her and make her wheeze. Some even traveled to where she was, touching the glass heels and plastic dress she wore.

Then, the flames got to her skin.

The pain of being burned alive was making her scream. She tried to put it down, but it went further up, making her let out cries. Some descended from below to her head, setting her hair up on fire.

The flames and plastic got to her form, to which she was only greeted with the feeling of pure and utter agony.

It hurts to be burnt alive. It was a fate she wouldn't want anyone to have, as her skin was becoming nothing but charred. And God, did it hurt. It was even worse with the plastic melting in her.

Her eyes began to bulge as she heaved, crumbling onto the ground. She needed to breathe fresh air, but all she could even get was smoke that filled her lungs.

What ripped from her throat was screams of anguish and rage, blaming the one that led her there— the damned detective, who left her for dead.

… Which was funny, for even she can't blame him. After all, had she paid attention, she would've found out the truth of the detective she's with.

Several investigators came to the scene after the locals have brought up the concern of hearing screams late at night. It had been days after the incident that led to the manor burning, and they wanted to see what was left behind.

An anonymous tipper has left them something vital to investigate, especially for the disappearance of Phitre, a lady who was last seen being with “Heizou”.

When they got to the scene of the crime, one of them leaned over to the burnt plastic that was made to be dresses and cringed at the stench. Some were not even taken care of, and it was almost like it had been taken decades ago.

However, what caught their eye was the mask laid next to a charred, disfigured and melted body. It smelled the same as it had been prior, and even when the dress melted into the skin of the victim, the mask remained pristine.

The only difference, though, are two pairs of jeweled eyes that stared right back at them, like the corpse still looked at them with disdain in their soul.

@.throw-letter-away | do not republish or repost my works anywhere | 2024

[theonlyqualitytrash]

Introduction post—about me, rules when interacting with my blog

Hi, I'm QualityTrash, just another random user on this platform, and I'm here to talk about myself a little (because who doesn't love talking about themselves, right?)

Anyway, I'm an INFJ type with a passion for the whimsical, the creepy, the misunderstood, and the morbid. I'm a very introverted person, so you’ll rarely see me interacting with people directly. I mostly prefer to admire from afar.

I started writing fanfiction when I was about 12, but of course, the mind and writing style of an adolescent can be a bit crass. Most of the works I wrote back then have either been archived, deleted, or are sitting in a dusty corner of my folders (sometimes, you just can't part with things).

My hobbies include cross-stitching, writing (of course), reading (surprise, surprise), yoga, scrapbooking, gaming, and overanalyzing the hell out of art—whether it's paintings, characters, music, or literature.

I listen to a lot of music, from classical to rock, goth to Kpop. I could go on about this for the rest of the post, so I’ll just stop here and drop a few artists I love: IAMX, Rammstein, Ghost, Laufy, Ic3peak, Creature Feature, QBomb, Melanie Martinez, Kordhell, Ado, Ooes, Aurora, Chopin... and I’ll stop before this list gets too long.

Some of my favorite anime/series (other than BSD) include Violet Evergarden, Jojo (just started the 6th part), Death Parade, Kuroshitsuji, Moriarty the Patriot, Beastars, Dungeon Meshi, Helluva Boss, The Amazing Digital Circus, Arcane and Monster High.

Now, some fun facts about me:

My birthday is on July 17th, just one day after my mother's

I have three cats: Max, Sasha, and Sonya

My favorite color is yellow, and I love sunflowers

I'm a silly atheist with a fascination for religious imagery and references

I’m from the Balkans (and yes, English isn't my native language, but I try my best!)

I have a rat tattoo

I am extremely clumsy—it’s not even funny anymore

I study biochemistry—ironically, I ran from chemistry my whole life before applying to university

I write poems (and I often try to incorporate their meanings into my works)

Finally, I’d like to close this post with some dos and don’ts for interacting with me:

My ask box is open to most things (both SFW and NSFW), as long as you're respectful and not trying to start drama with questions aimed at causing conflict. Also, I prefer not to discuss politics—there are far more educated people out there to talk about that. Ask me anything as long as it stays respectful!

I'm also open to suggestions and requests! If you have an idea you'd like me to put on paper, I’d love to try it (let’s hope I have the inspiration for it).

If I don’t respond to something, it’s either because I haven’t gotten to it yet, I’m lacking inspiration, it made me uncomfortable, or it doesn’t feel relevant to my blog. I’m not upset, though—just a little preoccupied.

Please, if you are a minor, I would appreciate it if you didn't interact with my flagged posts. There are some heavy themes there and I would hate to traumatize someone.

Finally, no bigotry, racism, homophobia, sexism, ableism, xenophobia, transphobia, body shaming, hate speech, harassment, trolling, or victim blaming. I like my blog devoid of such negativity; there is enough of it in the world.

If anything bothers me, I’ll vent about it—though I promise to keep it lighthearted and hopefully funny :))

If you're here, hello! Thank you for taking the time to read through my introduction post.

Have this virtual cookie as a token of my appreciation :>

[adacatlovelace]

Random unhinged undertale rambling

The design for Sans and Papyrus is very deliberate with the fact they are always smiling, and their expressiveness comes from the movement of their eye(socket)s. This is not only because they are skeletons, but its also important to note that, even at their lowest points, they both still have big goofy smiles on their face, conveying both Papyrus nature of never giving up hope in people and Sans’ continuing to “put on a happy face” even when faced with the monumental existential dread of knowing that anything that happens, good or bad, matters because of the way time works in the world of Undertale. This isn’t to say that they shouldn’t show emotion but ATTENTION NEEDS TO BE PAID TO HOW THEY SHOW THIS EMOTION IF YOU ARE TRYING TO BE TRUE TO THE CHARACTERS.

Secondly, what makes Sans such an interesting character is the fact that he has gone almost fully numb. He knows how helpless he is to actually change anything and has, for the most part, accepted it and instead of ruminating on it, he’s decided to have a bit of fun with it, and because if he acts friendly it might at least minimize the damage the human will do. He doesn’t even really seem to care all that much when Papyrus dies, unless you specifically PROVOKE him by killing ONLY papyrus at which point he will either call you out for being a Hypocrite or “Ah, you’re just an asshole then. At least you’re honest about it.” because once again, anything that happens GOOD OR BAD will be reset and doesn’t really matter.

Yes, he did make a promise with Toriel, and he outright tells you that if he didn’t do so, he would’ve killed you almost immediately. However, he WILL break this promise if the human threatens him directly. This implies one of two things: Either he is so bound to this promise to this person he barely knows that he will stand by as the human murders everyone he cares about, but no so much that he is willing to die because of it OR that the promise is more of a justification to himself to allow the human the freedom to make their own choices.

Now admittedly this is where I go a bit into my headcanon, but bear with me, I do have quite a bit of media analysis to back this up.

MY PERSONAL INTERPRETATION OF THE STORY is that the narrative is... Well the best way I can put this (hopefully) without sounding unhinged is that if you took the story, changed the names and setting while keeping the core themes, characters and events of the story, you could have a passable sort of sequel to Paradise Lost, namely the War in Heaven and christian mythos. STAY WITH ME PLEASE I KNOW THIS SOUNDS INSANE BUT HEAR ME OUT I BEG YOU I MUST SHARE THIS INSANITY WITH OTHERS PLEASE THIS IS JUST ME INTERPRETING THE SYMBOLISM AND DRAWING LITERARY PARALLELS NOT ME CLAIMING THAT UNDERTALE IS ACTUALLY A STORY ABOUT GOD AND THE DEVIL JUST THAT TOBY FOX MAY HAVE BEEN INSPIRED BY THE STORIES

I’m just saying that, in some twisted way, it could be a story of Lucifer returning to Heaven

1. What kicks it off the events of Undertale is a large scale war between the Humans and Monsters, and while the monsters are the ones banished, the end result is practically the same: Separation between monsters(Angel stand in) and humans (Demon stand in) Humans/Demons did BAD THING and now the two worlds have been separated

2. Im just gonna get this over with and say Asriel (Who’s name is based on Azrael, an angel) COULD be looked at as a stand in for Jesus, an envoy of the monsters who left the undergound with a message of peace and was killed because of it. This is admittedly the weakest point I have considering Azrael is the angel of death, and the whole thing with Chara muddying it up, but my brain gave me the idea of comparing the funny goat boy to jesus christ and I had to at least mention it

3. A common interpretation I tend to see is that the underground is “Hell” and in my opinion, this does not line up with the themes and imagery within Undertale. In Undertale, the humans are the aggressors, and while the monsters are willing to fight to defend themselves, they are almost always willing to make peace if given the right opportunity.

4. The Human is referred as to as being “Fallen” and the Prophecy of The Deltarune symbol describes him as an angel. Put these two facts together, the human is a Fallen Angel.

5. Toriel’s name is Toriel because shes acts as Tu-Toriel. This has nothing to do with anything except that when searching for the origin of her name, I found out that this STUPID pun has gone over my head for the last almost 8 years and now here it is for anyone else who’s missed it.

6. Taking what I said about Sans giving the human a chance to make their own decisions and running with it, Sans acts as the sort of “God” character. This sounded insane to me at first but then I realized you literally meet him in LIGHT BATHED CHURCH WHERE HE PASSES JUDGEMENT ON THE HUMAN and the whole game he acts as an almost omnipresent observer.

7. Now for the endings

Neutral: Reuniting Humans/Hell and Monsters/Heaven is deemed untenable at the current moment due to the actions (or lack of action) the human has taken, but both sides might walk away either a little bit wiser or with a renewed sense of division. Either way, the Underground is changed forever

Pacifist: The human has turned away from violence, even in the most difficult of scenarios. Asriel is reminded of the love they once shared with humans and the two sides become one again. The Lucifer-standin has clearly changed and is brought back into the fold

Genocide: “Lucifer” returns and enacts violence against everything, reigniting the War in Heaven but is now unstoppable. After killing both “God” and “Jesus” they are left with nothing except Chara. I disagree that Chara is the devil or satan, but instead is the personification of violence itself, fueled by ambition, to “gain power and defeat the enemy” which is what caused Lucifer to be cast out to begin with. They ask you/Lucifer if you’d like to finish what the two of you have started and if you have the gall to say no, they “gently” remind you that THEY have always been been in control: Lucifer’s ambition to wipe out Heaven and YOU, THE PLAYER’S ambition to “beat” the game to its fullest extent, even if it means going against the themes of the game, leaving Undertale to be cast aside and uninstalled to for the next game you to beat: “Erase this world and move onto the next”

[somewhereinthepines]

hi hi! been curious about .. will you ever write a non-murder hector?

i suppose, i might do it at some point? but then, if i’m being completely honest, i kinda dig the canonical hector / du’met’s attire the most. *twirls fingers together* so in a way, it’s not easy for me to separate his murderous intent from him completely. in the back of my mind, i will always make a mental note about how it's smth, that he's capable of.  

besides, i generally love deeply nuanced characters. their mental struggles & misery is a good food for my brain. and their flaws are usually very precious to me. i tend to play into it vs making the characters overcome it. i usually don’t make my favs better, than they really are. in fact, i often make them give into their worst traits/impulses, bc it’s the most fun for me.

i’m also not the kind of author, who writes good-natured ‘fix it’ stuff tbh. many things (media), that i like on this acc are tied up to a narrative, that is written to be both disturbing & tragic. so instead of giving the characters a ‘happy ending’, i just try to give them smth nice in the middle of all the mess. or just make their situation even more shitty, haha. depending on the idea, that lies in the center of my story, anyways. but in most cases, the final goal isn’t to make the characters get better in some ‘fully healing’ way or smth, but to consider a variation, where they can get what they want without being ‘saved’. naturally, it can differ in the level or in how far the narrative can go with it, but in the end, i kinda love ‘fixing’ smth very messed up & sad in canon by changing the tone, rather than overwriting everything.

and when it comes to hector, i’m very enamored by the possibility of him still having charlie’s love, even when it’s all gone too far & he can no longer turn back. i mean, if charlie can accept hector munday like that, at his very worst, then what else can hector realistically ask for? this is the maximum level of devotion, that someone can show to a person. sticking with them, even when everything goes awry & wrong. charlie isn’t there to act as hector’s savior. he’s smart enough to know, that he can’t truly change him at that point. but maybe, he can make it easier & offer him a distraction. a hand, that doesn’t chastity or punish, but that keeps one grounded. 

i guess, what i’m saying is that it’s easy to imagine charlie being in love with hector munday, who’s just well, a sad, lonely dude with a traumatic past. but it’s more thrilling for me to imagine charlie, who would still love hector, even when he poses as granthem du’met. their canonical dynamic is predator/prey, after all. and i rarely see it being executed in tasteful ways in the media, so starting from the demo of the game, i was just like ooooh, that’s so pretty & intriguing. their first meeting made my heart go doki-doki lol. so like maybe, this is also why i’m kinda mentally unwilling to fully let go of this imagery? it was more, than i could have hoped for. and then, i’m historically weak in my knees for captor/captive stuff, when it’s done ‘right’. and now, i have one of such kind and it’s supermassive too! *girly giggle* for me, it’s like a present on bd tbh. i'm so happy to unwrap it.

but honestly, it’s a mere personal pref. a whim. and nothing stops me from eventually giving hector a story, where everything goes more smoothly and somewhat ‘normally’ for him. well, to a degree. so at some point, maybe i will write smth like that. but atm, all ideas that i have for du’lie are tied to du’met being a murder. the themes & visuals that it implies are very appealing for me, when it comes to the horror genre, and i’m a simple fella. i just do what feels ‘natural’ to me. 

sorry for a long answer, i guess, i just wanted to kind of explain my current view on this topic. everybody depicts things differently, and tbh, this fandom offers a fair share of different outlooks on du’met & charlie. and thankfully, there are a few authors/creators, who provide fics with set-ups, where hector is just a man with issues. so it’s not like this au doesn’t get covered. 

as for me, i’m a weirdo who tends to play in their own sandbox. so at times, if the wind blows, i might write smth unexpected, but well…usually, there is still a murder or some disturbing stuff looming in the background lol. i have very little understanding of 'naked' gentleness or pure fluff, or like…well, just nice things being nice without smth surrounding it, like a slowly closing fist. so usually, i just sit on side, watching how other folks do it. so this isn't like i don't like those set-ups. i'm just isn't the person, who can easily conjure smth like that, haha.

[maroonghoul]

Horror Movie’s I just watched: May 2023

Shorter list this time. Here we go:

Resurrection (2022) I saved this one for Mother’s day because I heard the main character was a Mom. I was a bit afraid it wouldn’t factor into the plot that much, but I was reassured, especially with the final scene.

This is another one, kinda like Censor, where the whole thing might be in the protagonist's head. Where she’s so wound up tight at the beginning that her daughter’s accident only starts the ball rolling in her head some nightmarish fantasy of the worst case scenario. It helps that we never got any confirmation about whether of not Tim Roth’s character was a hallucination or anyone else can see him. Hell, given that we never get a flashback with him and his first lines is him saying he doesn’t recognize her, there’s a disturbing possibility that he is real, but is some poor guy who just looks way too much like her ex and she’s hallucinating everything he said. And that final reveal about the baby actually being inside him is too surreal and supernatural to not have heavy implications if it wasn’t in her head.

Granted, like the best of ambiguous films, the story works regardless if this theory is right or not. The point is, externally or internally, this character is tormented. I feel like the moral of this story is; Girlbossing can only help you in limited ways. When it come to trauma as severe as this, try to find therapy. Though given our culture, she still probably couldn’t. It’s not fair.

Mad God Here was a movie I couldn’t take my eyes off, and I still feel like I missed a few things. That’s how striking the imagery was. I don’t know what I can add to what’s already been said about the themes that others haven’t already. Cycles of violence not solving anything, the de-personification of mass labor, civilizations rising and falling again despite the sacrifices; those are what I can glean. Also, being reminded at various points of Eraserhead, Fallout New Vegas, Metropolis, and Cemetery Man. Probably not even half of that was intentional. 

It just wows me. Any one of the creatures in this could be the centerpiece or high point of any other film. Stop motion really has become a lost art. Sure, we know now a big reason why studios heavily prefer CGI, despite how good it actually looks, is cheaper and faster to make then any other effect. But works like this show that, if you’re actually comfortable letting film take as much time as it needs and use as much money as possible to make it look good (Better there than some executive’s overstuffed salary), you’ll allow a lot more variety in how each film is made and look. Gee, it’s almost like time crunches and trying to save money is actually bad for the product. WhO kNeW?

Scare Me I recognized the male lead, Josh Ruben, from CollegeHumor. And after that, this whole movie, to me, played like an extended Hardly Working sketch. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

I was worried a whole movie mostly about two people (briefly three) telling scary stories, and not actually showing us the stories, would look too cheap. Thankfully, there were some technical flourishes. The performances, including the bits their characters acted out so they’re effectively a performance in a performance, are good even if the stories themselves are hit or miss. 

The first werewolf one is just goofy, but that’s intentional. The Grandpa one is ok, even if it’s a touch ableist at a point. The troll’s a bit fun. And the “deal with the devil” one has a fun payoff. 

What this actually ends up being about, insecure white male (maybe?) getting violent with his more successful female colleague was pretty inevitable given how passive-aggressive they both are. Honestly, that they’re both such a-holes help kept what would be a too uncomfortable situation pretty light. You can mark this as another case of “actor known for comedy taking a serious villain role to show their range” movie, like Robin Williams. This was effective enough here, though I don’t know if it would work for him outside of it. 

Final note (and mild spoiler for two films), can’t help but felt like the mid-credit scene reminded of the very end of the 1982 movie Death Trap. Not sure if that movie was a direct inspiration for this. I saw that for the first time about a month ago so it’s fresh on my mind. Outside of that, this is pretty much a good hang-out horror movie. Especially for fans of the old College Humor.

That’s all for now. I’ll probably have less films to talk about next time, but I’ll try to make up for it in July.

[karlyanalora]

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

💖 What made you start writing?

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Well, this got long. The really long spiel is under the cut.

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Probably not as much as I should tbh. But I do a fair bit of googling. Too much research sucks the fun out of it for me and leaves me paralyzed.

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Both. Sometimes I go by the seat of my pants for a long while and then write an outline for the rest. Others have outlines ready to go before I start typing. Some just have random things I know I want to happen at some point. Most of my one-shots are spur-of-the-moment things.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Redemption. I’m a sucker for it and I feel fiction is a great place to explore it at its extremes. No one irl has blown up a planet, but what would redemption for Darth Vader look like if he lived? What should his punishment be? What is the balance between mercy and justice? Who will find it within themselves to forgive him? Starscream, Megatron, Loki, so many Decepticons, what would that journey look like?

Of course, this has to be balanced with narrative sense. I might redeem one character in one story but leave them evil in another. That’s just what fit the themes and message of the story. Also, some characters will just always be plain bad in my books: Overlord, Palpatine, Ra’s al Ghul, etc. That doesn’t mean they can’t have moral complexity like Ra’s! But I don’t see them reformed.

It probably goes without saying that the theme of forgiveness shows up a lot. Also what I think true love is: a verb before it is a noun. No one and onlys here folks.

💖 What made you start writing?

This is a fun journey. I can remember my first attempt at fanfic was a fairly dark self-insert involving Robin. I was no older than nine in the back of the car and I can still remember the plot though I maybe got down two pages. Didn’t even know fanfic was a thing but I’d just found a single issue of a comic based on the 2003 Teen Titans cartoon and I was hooked.

I’ve always had a very active imagination. I tried creating original works for NaNoWriMo but I kept writing in loopholes so I could fit in my favorite fandoms.

In 2019 some family friends tried to get us into the YouTuber business. It didn’t last but I wanted to make a crossover cartoon and actually emailed Star Wars, Marvel, and DC for permission. Only Star Wars replied and told me no since I was planning to monetize it. I was going to do it anyway and started writing the scripts.

Sometime before this, my best friend introduced me to fanfiction along with the guidelines for browsing it that I still live by. She sent me “Though She Be But Little” by @theredscreech. Amazing fic. Finished it and didn’t think about fanfiction again.

Until the Winter of 2020 lying in my bed as a college freshman craving Transformers content. All I’d seen was Transformers Animated at this point I think. I’m not sure if I’d even seen Prime yet. But I remembered fanfic was a thing and in a fit of madness hopped on fanfiction.net. I stayed up until 4 am binge-reading “Redeem the Stars” by @megadoomingir. That was the moment I realized I didn’t want to make a cartoon; I wanted to write fanfiction.

The basic storyline and premise of that cartoon has remained the same but has also undergone major changes so it would now be completely unrecognizable. Published works have been scrapped and rewritten. It originally, back when it was going to be a cartoon, had a shameless self-insert and featured my heroic origins as the Foosa and my family too. No first name changes either. My editor and sister @anileahvictoria convinced me to scrap that and eventually also the leftovers from my “original” NaNoWriMo story of which a changed Fiera Adele is the only survivor.

I had and still have big plans for my “Ultimate Universe” series. I sent some messages and ff.net to some lovely Transformers authors for permission to incorporate their stories or versions of those stories into my future writing because they permanently shifted how I viewed Transformers. I got some very lovely responses. I’m honestly not sure if I will end up working with that version of Transformers that continues to live in my head because it feels kind of weird to ask your readers to read homework fics, ya know? But I’m not sure how to separate those stories from the Ultimate Universe if I do include Transformers. Hence why I have started a different au to get the robot feels out. Anyway, it’s probably all a moot point because my editor will quit if I work Transformers into the current version of the Ultimate Universe (which is a pity because how I got it to fit with DC and Star Wars was genius.)

As it stands now, the Ultimate Universe will only eventually include in order, DC, Marvel, and Star Wars and I shall probably never finish writing the adventures that happen therein. Probably more than you ever wanted to know, hehe.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

The grand spiel above was in part to set the stage for this piece of advice: Nothing is written in stone.

It’s partly why I love writing fanfic. I can change my mind at any time. I have rewritten everything I have published in a story. I have completely changed a story. I have deleted stories and written a new story that resembles it with some very big changes. You learn and grow and change as a writer and so can a story. Warn your readers that major rewrites are coming and go for it. If you feel it will create a better end result, don’t be afraid to start over.

[rebornrosess]

wanna start making collages like yours cause they're super inspiring to me but don't know where to start, do you have any advice?

hi!! sorry for the late response, i’ve been busy with midterms but this is so kind, i’m glad they could be inspiring :”))) i’m super honoured.

i use an old version (2019) of photoshop for all my collages and my canvases are letter paper sized (8.5 x 11) in CMYK for the best resolution when printed. if you don’t plan on printing your work then RGB works best for digital uploads (the colour profiles will look very different if you put them in a canvas of the opposite colour profile). i’m mostly self-taught from youtube (kel lauren got me into graphic design back in like 2017 <3), but i’ve been pretty lucky to also apply some stuff from multimedia classes in high school. i mostly use fonts downloaded from dafont.com or other random websites that i find just from looking up an adjective + font. you can also get a pretty decent approximate of a font from a poster or an image from font squirrel! i’ve found my (amateur) photography background to be helpful when composing canvases. don’t worry about “breaking” the rules, but basic photography rules like the rule of thirds, the golden ratio, or even just working with a grid can really help as a starting point.

pinterest is my best friend for inspiration but also for images. when i have an idea for a collage, i make a dedicated board for it to collect images i might want to use in it or any other graphic design work, illustrations, posters etc. that fit the vibe that i want the collage to have. i also keep a board for anything that i find inspiring, whether it’s other people’s graphic design work, illustrations, posters, or even just colour palettes and random images that have a great energy to them that i would love to capture. for higher quality images you can check out unsplash or even tumblr. lots of talented artists have great texture packs on gumroad that you can get for free or at a pretty reasonable price!

i’ve honestly been in a bad creative rut since this summer, but i’ve always made my collages around a literal body of text. working from song lyrics, a poem, or a movie monologue, whether referenced overtly or indirectly, can be a great help. i do a close reading of whatever excerpt i pick then write down all the imagery it invokes explicitly or in my mind. if i’m lucky and the author of the text has a larger body of work, i’ll take a look at that too and see if there are any recurring symbols throughout their work. i’ll also look into what artists inspire them and see if i can meaningfully incorporate those visuals as well.

if i decide i want to incorporate the body of text directly in my collage, i try to section it off based on common themes/symbols or just based on whatever feels most natural (some panels i make have a lot of text on them, others only have a verse or two). i do this ahead of time to help me plan how many panels i want to make, but i also get a feel for this on the canvas itself when i type out all the text. i like playing with different text alignments too (big fan of justify which makes your text fill the text box).

re: fonts, i’ve made a canvas of all the custom fonts i’ve downloaded so i can have a visual referent of everything i have if i’m struggling to remember what i have while scrolling through the font tab on photoshop. i use helvetica in most of my collages to keep the focus on the images and assure readability, but it all depends on the intent of the collage. text doesn’t always have to be legible! you can also mix and match fonts within the same sentence to stress a specific word by using a different font. pairing serif (fonts with little “feet”) or script (fonts that look handwritten) with sans-serif fonts (like the one i’m using to type this post now) can make for some fun effects.

re: photoshop (or any other image editing software like affinity, pixlr, procreate, picsart? etc.), i like to cut out the images digitally with the polygon lasso and leave a bit of the space around the subject for a more textured feel, but i also play around with lots of layer modes for other cool effects if i’m not really feeling it (my favourites are “lighten”, “darken”, and “overlay”). there are also a variety of layer styles that you can apply to photos and text like strokes (i get a lot of use out of these), drop shadows, and bevels to add texture to individual assets. play with ALLLL the image adjustment options. transform, warp, posterize, threshold (i use this a lot with the “lighten” mode, it gives a cool black & white texture), pixelate, blurs, noise...just make lots of copies when starting out so you can easily reverse the work lol. save often! also keyboard shortcuts are your best friend.

finally, don’t be afraid to use only a few assets per panel! you can create some really impactful visuals without overwhelming the canvas.

ty for asking something so thoughtful, means a lot. :”) <3

[pluto-the-chinchilla]

Let me preface this by saying that if MARS by Fuyumi Soryo has no diehard fans I am dead.

Okay, cool!

Now I was so happy to hear how many people these days recommend the manga and sing its praises because yes I totally think it’s deserved. And I’m just as happy that people include trigger warnings for the SA, s//cide, and dark themes.

Buuut there’s a few other trigger warnings or also like to throw out there.

I’ll put actual spoilers under a cut but additional trigger warnings for Mars;

While I don’t think it was intentional (or so I hope) it is not great with how it handles LGBT. The token homosexual/bisexual character is not someone you want to root for and there’s a throwaway character later who…

I can’t tell if they’re trans or some form of cross dresser but regardless it’s handled in that weird way 80s/90s media handled it which is that even when it doesn’t feel malicious it reads as uncomfortably ignorant. I actually like the character themself but I can’t even tell what their identity is because the dialogue regarding them is conflicting and truly think it boils down to being badly misinformed about how LGBT (partially T) folks are in real life or the actual psych of gender/sexuality which…

I mean again the manga started in 1996 and ended at the start of one of 2000s which was a particularly catty/mean decade.

Anyway into spoilers. This isn’t a deep dive or anything, I just have thoughts and nobody who really reads stuff like this.

Masao Kirishima wouldn’t bother me if he wasn’t the only non-straight character in the series. I’m serious. Like I’m fine with him being an emotionally manipulative sociopath who just genuinely doesn’t understand or appreciate empathy. He doesn’t have a lot of great depth but I actually find him at least a little interesting in how he felt alone in his misanthropy and violence and thought he found a kindred spirit in Rei. I loved seeing his composure break when he realized Rei had fully embraced his humanity and that he was well and truly alone.

Still a cop out how after stabbing Rei he just completely forgot about him. The story didn’t earn the right to just sweep him under the rug and at that point it felt like an excuse to have that odd Rei and Sei moment which… at that point just make it a dream.

Maybe maybe the cage confrontation between Rei and Masao more dramatic. Have more of that breakage happen and maybe show him having a full blown panic attack after he runs off, reflecting on their history and how it’s all being written over by the Rei who was changed by Kira loving him and just have him collapse in an alley. Maybe the rewritten imagery of memories blocking one another out could lend itself to Masao repressing the memories after having such a break. Imagery of Kira painting over the violent Rei with her own award winning painting of Mars. Like Kira herself painting Masao out of the picture.

Just an idea.

Rei and Sei meeting could happen in a dream after Rei speaks to his old doctor and maybe feature his mother and real father all reaching out to him. Or have it happen after a bike accident. Maybe Masao shambled out into the street in his daze or maybe he wanted to get killed by Rei so that Rei would never fully be rid of him or any other leak in logic cuz honestly Masao is malleable. And Rei hurting himself just to avoid killing him could’ve been another cause for that final break.

Otherwise… I can only imagine Masao is faking it but is in a stupor waiting to get out so he can end it all.

Also.

I like Violet, I think they’re cute and fun and I wish we got more of them with the caveat being I wish their gender identity was clearer and better written, even as a throwaway character. I thought their friendship was Kira was cute and it would’ve been nice to have the two of them and Harumi hang out.

Wish Harumi was better written and got a more proper redemption arc. They just kinda became friends after Harumi stood up for her one time. I don’t mind that they’re friends but I wish we could’ve gotten a heart to heart with them really unpacking the bullying, their shared love for Rei, maybe a little light in her and Tatsuya…

And I wish violent!Harumi could’ve showed up in Kira’s defense

Maybe explore the connective tissue of Harumi’s violence next time Rei’s

Maybe Masao could’ve gotten under her skin and that could’ve lead to some Tatsuya development wherein he worries about succumbing too

And Rei stops him from going too far for a change and it’s a switch up from their usual friend dynamic and it strengthens their bond

Maybe explore brotherhood with Tatsuya vs Sei

Idk Tatsuya and Harumi are underutilized but I love them ok?

[agentnico]

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (2022) Review

Casting Cate Blanchett as the voice of the monkey that simply goes “ook-ook” and “eek-eek” is either the greatest vocal performance ever or the grandest mockery of a famed Hollywood starlet. Either or - it works!

Plot: Academy Award®-winning filmmaker Guillermo del Toro reinvents Carlo Collodi's classic tale of the wooden marionette who is magically brought to life in order to mend the heart of a grieving woodcarver named Geppetto. This whimsical, stop-motion musical directed by Guillermo del Toro and Mark Gustafson follows the mischievous and disobedient adventures of Pinocchio in his pursuit of a place in the world.

One begs the question is there really a need for yet another Pinocchio adaptation after the gazillion that have come out previously. We even had the Disney remake come out a couple of months ago with Tom Hanks doing his best flustering about in front of a green screen and though that one is a fun drunk watch, honestly the tale of the living puppet has been overdone one too many times. However when a director like del Toro comes into play, things are a bit more interesting as he is a director with such a distinct gothic surreal style that I decided to give this Pinocchio a go after all.

I am glad I did. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio is a shoehorn for a Best Animated Picture nomination at the Academy Awards as this is some of the best stop-motion animation ever put to screen. The amount of detail on all the character designs and the smooth transitions from scene to scene - this movie looks incredible. Even the imagery that at times can be classed as creepy is also eerily beautiful in the typical del Toro way. Pinocchio himself is a very rough and rigid build, one that resembles a wooden Frankenstein monster, as he has been built within the plot during a drunken blunder, and it shows. Again though, due to the innocent playful vocal work by newcomer Gregory Mann, he imbues the dire doll to be a very likeable and adorable little chap, one that you care for and want to see succeed. It’s typical del Toro do mix the frightening with the beautiful to create a concoction of the fantastical. And this movie is a visual feast. Also straight up impressive. The amount of work that goes into stop-motion....I could hardly have the patience to make a short 30 second LEGO stop-motion YouTube vid, let alone a full fledged feature with originally designed figures and puppets. 

Reinforcing more that this is Guillermo del Toro going fully Guillermo del Toro, the film uses the fantasy tale to address some serious mature adult themes such as death and an abundant amount of fascism. No really, even the Italian fascist leader Benito Mussolini makes an appearance in the movie! This is very reminiscent of del Toro using fiction to provide a social commentary on historical events, like in his magnum opus work Pan’s Labyrinth. However these unsettling themes are balanced out with a good chunk of child-friendly comic relief (Ewan McGregor’s cricket gets squashed numerous times yet he always gets up again like Charlie fricking Chaplin) and musical numbers, which results in a bit of odd tonality, however again, it’s Guillermo del Toro through and through. 

In conclusion, was there a need for yet another Pinocchio adaptation? Nope, however Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio embraces its title to the fullest in that it is del Toro through and through. For better or worse, as does one really need to see Pinocchio praise in song the mighty Il Duce? Depends on the audience member, as its not for everyone, but I myself really enjoyed seeing the director’s vision and the impressive animation. Shame though that Ewan McGregor doesn’t sing ‘Be Our Guest’ in this one but I guess that’s forgivable. 

Overall score: 7/10

[cdroloisms]

Do you consider a possibility that c!Punz never betrayed c!Dream in the first place and whole "I'm sorry, Dream -- but you should have paid me more" thing was a facade and undercover for Punz? Like Dream said that Punz should not associated with him, so it was intentional-

staged disc finale theory my beloved !!! :D it’s definitely one of my favorite theories, though i’m still holding out (for now) as for believing super firmly in one direction or another (tho the staged finale is definitely the one i prefer for Many reasons, haha.) c!punz is so so fun no matter if the betrayal was intentional or not, but oh boyyyy if it was something planned ,,, man . 

*c!dream voice, after quackity starts visiting*: the risk i took was calculated, but man am i bad at math. 

anyway c!punz and c!dream interactions make me soft as heck so have this !!

tw: implied torture, abuse, violence, blood, injuries, emotional distress, panicking, dehumanization, unhealthy coping mechanisms, unhealthy mindsets, illness, trauma, flashbacks, starvation mention, suicide mention, death mentions, dark content, dark imagery, prison arc/pandora’s vault themes, c!quackity critical/dark portrayal of c!quackity

Dream comes to in vague moments and flashes. 

There’s a hand brushing over his forehead, too gentle to be Quackity or the Warden, not Techno because Techno is Gone and he has Left and won’t come again, running through the sweat-soaked locks and pulling them back out of his forehead. He’s unbearably hot, shifting around on the ground, only barely registering it moving beneath him. Water, cool and clear, is tipped in between his lips, quenching his thirst and easing the dryness of his mouth. Someone speaks, voice low and rumbling, and even though he’s unable to make out the words, there’s something about the cadence of them and the specific rhythm in which they move and rise and dip that is bone-achingly familiar, enough to lull him into a fitful sleep. Through it all, there is always something, someone, lingering in the edges of his vision, a shadow standing near and watching over him; part of him remembers Quackity, remembers the Warden, and recoils in fright; another part of him remembers Techno, remembers the barest flashes of a life before obsidian and lava and pain and hell, and wants nothing more than to get closer. 

When the fog in his head finally clears away enough to think, the first coherent thought he has is oh fuck, I need to piss. 

Which, out of all possible things to think, is probably up there as one of the worst, and he’s sure that when his head feels a little less like it’s trying to actively kill him (ha, let it- it’s far from the first to try) the panic will settle in as it always does. As it is, he’s exhausted, and hungry, and he really really needs to pee- so he forces his eyes open to move away from where he’s probably still stuck in a puddle of dried blood in the middle of his cell.

The second coherent thought he has is this: this isn’t Pandora. 

The realization has him thoroughly awake, eyes snapping open out of his previous fatigue to take in his surroundings, feet kicking out to the weight on top of them that he hadn’t even noticed was there, panicking against his restraints that end up not being restraints at all, giving way easily under his thrashing and resolving to what appears to be a thick blanket when he has the mind to look. With the covers gone off of whatever he’s lying on (a bed?) he’s suddenly, unbearably cold - the prison has always been hot, the lava baking into him and leaving his skin sticky with sweat, and he thinks that the room he’s in is probably not meant to feel like a fucking freezer, but after months of being one wrong step away from heatstroke, anything cooler than the goddamn Nether feels like literal ice against his skin. The room is wooden and cozy and oddly familiar, an open door leading to what appears to be a bathroom and a closed one going who knows where, window panes built into the opposite wall to let the sunlight in. It’s a nice room, all things considered, and Dream fucking hates it. 

He pulls himself to his feet, cursing at the wobbly edge to his stance when he finally manages to stand, his vision wavering dangerously in time to the spinning of his head. His eyes flick between the two doors - he still needs to go to the bathroom, and using it now will lessen the amount of things to get in the way of his escape in the future - but at the same time, there's no knowing when people will come to (hurt him, beat him, starve him, punish him, leaving him bruised and bleeding and half-dead on the floor just as he deserves) him and he needs all the time he can get to get the hell away. In the end, he slinks into the bathroom, ignoring the thudding in his chest as he does so - at the very least, the cabinets in the thing might provide him with some manner of a weapon. 

He’s only just past the door on the way out - a fucking broomstick in his hand because it’s all he could find - when his ears catch on the sound of metal clicking against each other and his eyes fall on the knob of the other door shaking as someone makes their way in. All at once, panic slams into him - goddammit, he should’ve just run when he had the chance - and he directs quick, desperate glances at the window. Maybe, if he’s fast enough, he can book it out of there and disappear into the trees; it’ll hurt, but it’ll be better than getting caught. Anything would be better than getting caught-

 “Dream?” 

Dream blinks. All at once, the same feeling of getting the air punched out of him returns, but combined with something warm and floaty wrapping around his chest, something almost a little like relief - and hell, if that isn’t something he’s not felt for a while. 

“Punz?” 

Punz is standing in the doorway, hoodie rumpled, expression more than a little frazzled; Dream’s breath hitches at the sight of the sword strapped to his side, but their face holds none of the harsh edges and cold-dark-hard hatred that had characterized the Warden and Quackity’s visits, mouth slightly parted and eyes shining with nothing but what appears to be shock and concern. The sight of them, again, nearly has Dream dizzy, a swell of tangled, unexplainable emotion rising to the back of his throat as he sways on his feet. He hadn’t thought that he would see Punz again, he realizes, had never thought he’d see his stupid gold chain and his stupid outfit he never bothered changing, ever, or that same lopsided smirk and pale blue eyes- the last time he’d seen them, it was in that vault, their mouth twisted up in the act the two of them had decided on and eyes shimmering with unease and regret; as far as goodbyes went, it wasn’t the worst, not when Punz was one of the few to never leave him, not really, not when something ached in their expression other than the hatred that had colored all of the other expressionless faces watching him die. Months later, alone in Pandora, he must’ve grown resigned, or something, the repeated reminders that he would die alone and afraid and it would be nothing more than he deserved settling into his skin and against his bones; Punz’s expression twists, visible even across the room, and- oh. 

They must’ve thought the same thing, too.

“What are you doing out of bed?” Punz asks, finally, and Dream decides not to point out the way his voice cracks harshly in the middle, especially when the other man strides forward and starts to awkwardly herd him back in the direction of the bed - covers still thrown to the floor - in the middle of the room. Dream lets them, not replying because he doesn’t really know where to even begin describing the tangled knot of panic and shock that had strung his muscles tense when he woke up in a room he didn’t recognize, not knowing if he can really describe it all at all, trying his best not to flinch at the hands flitting in the corners of his vision as he falls back into a sitting position onto the bed. His fingers settle into the mattress, pressing into the bedsheets cautiously and marveling when they fall away under the pressure. Punz watches him, expression odd, gathers the blankets from the ground and presses them over and around him in a way that’s entirely awkward but does leave him warmer than he’d been before, before walking back on his heels with an odd expression that makes Dream’s insides twist. 

“You,” Punz says after a long second, voice wavering, “are a fucking idiot,” and it’s all the warning Dream gets before a white-and-black blur is rushing towards him, arms wrapping around his chest and his vision whites out in alarm and panic. When the pain doesn’t come, he comes back to his senses enough to realize that Punz’s arms are still wrapped around him, shoulders shaking as he holds him close but not painfully, careful not to pull too much against the places on his ribs and back that leave him gasping with small shocks of pain, head pressed against the crook of Dream’s neck and hair tickling his face. Dream can feel his heart hammering in his chest, but as the panic dies something warm and long-neglected stirs in the middle of his chest, and he melts forward with a quiet hum. This is- nice. Really, really nice. 

“What were you thinking?” Punz mutters, too quiet to really be directed at him, hands curling tighter into the folds of the hoodie - oh, he’s wearing one of those, not the same stiff, bloodstained material of the prison uniform that had chafed against his skin, another constant source of pain and discomfort of thousands in the hell that had been Pandora’s Vault  - on him, and Dream doesn’t really know what to do except sit there and blink dumbly, listening to the heartbeat of the person leaning against him rumbling against his ears. It’s oddly calming, has the pressure on his chest lightening enough to take a full breath, and then another, the warmth of someone leaning against him almost too much but not enough at the same time - his eyes burn, and he ignores them. 

“I-” he doesn’t really think that Punz was really asking a question, but just ignoring his question seems rude, too, and even despite the fuzzy warmth settling into his skin and into his bones from the pressure of Punz’s arms around his body and their head against his shoulder, he’s still unable to shake the anxiety of leaving a query unanswered, a constant murmur to listen obey do as you’re told or you’re going to regret it put on a damn good show or suffer the consequences remaining no matter how hard he tries to push it away. He wets his lips when his mouth feels too dry to keep speaking, eyes fluttering closed as he leans forward further, “I don’t know what you mean.” 

“You-” Punz cuts themselves off with a wet, incredulous-sounding laugh that has Dream jerking back despite himself, meeting their ice-cold eyes when they pull themselves back to look at him. He doesn’t really recognize the expression he wears, Dream realizes with a jolt, the way his lips are pressed together and the churning in his eyes, and his lungs seize in his chest. 

“Sir-”

If anything, Punz’s expression only seems to harden, and the warmth disappears as Dream looks into their eyes - cold, two polished shards of ice, frosted over pools of water in the middle of the tundra, flinty and sharp and brilliant blue. His hands shake as he pulls them back to his chest, trembling from the chill that’s made its home in his muscles and frozen them in place - sir sorry sir please don’t hurt me im sorry please I didn’t mean to

“Fuck, Dream,” he shakes his head, and only then does Dream see the slight wobble to their bottom lip, the waver to their words like they’re struggling to keep themselves together, “why didn’t you say anything?” 

 What?

You almost died, you know,” he keeps going, not meeting his eyes as they direct their gaze out the window, “Several times, honestly. Fucking hell- when Techno brought you out- I didn’t think you would survive. I didn’t think anyone could survive that.” 

Dream swallows. He doesn’t remember getting out, doesn’t really remember much at all if he’s being honest; there was the black of the cell, the heat of the lava, Techno promising to get him out before disappearing in a flash of purple, Quackity throwing him against the wall (Where the fuck did Techno go? You better have a fuckin’ answer, pal, if you want your death to be anything resemblin’ quick-) then nothing. Everything. His heart hammering in his chest and blood slick against his skin and the press of metal against his windpipe and pain, the only constant within it all, the only thing that made any goddamn sense when the room seemed to flip and turn and twist and his feelings knotted and frayed between anger-betrayal-distress-sadness-fear-grief, when reality swirled into a dizzying blur of colors and feelings and sounds carving themselves into the inside of his skull- then here. Dream flexes his hand experimentally, marveling at the feeling - the pain is almost gone. 

He’d forgotten how it felt, really, to live and not hurt. 

“Dream,” Punz calls again, voice low and worried, and Dream can’t help the way his head snaps up to meet their eyes and can’t help the flinch that twists his neck back when their frown deepens. It’d been a show, at least he tells himself, because Quackity would stop earlier if he screamed more, but- his hands tremble at his sides, twisted into the sheets of the bed, a near-constant litany of reminders and rules beating like they have a heart of their own in the back of his head. It was a show- he feels himself almost buckle, give in under the force of the stare leveled at him, and hates himself for how weak he feels, pinned under the eyes trained on his own. He’s not sure how much of a show it is anymore. 

“Dream,” Punz repeats, words even softer, and the ugly feeling of shame and anger twists inside Dream’s chest again. Punz- ever unflappable, deadly with almost any weapon and never letting anyone see him as anything but deliberately apathetic - is watching him with an expression so uncharacteristically and unbearably gentle that it makes his breath catch in his throat. “You could’ve died,” he says once again, and the look that paints his face is so terribly vulnerable, feelings pouring over like a cup overfilled, bubbling forward and bleeding from every corner, and Dream- can’t. He doesn’t know what to do in the face of such stark emotion, doesn’t know how how to handle the way his eyes burn and his heart throbs like an exposed nerve, the way everything yawns wide in the middle of his chest into void and emptiness and pain so deeply carved in the space within his ribs that he half-thinks he’s been hollowed out entirely.

“But I didn’t.” 

Punz pulls back, but Dream isn’t looking at him, is staring at the scarred surfaces of the backs of his hands and the knobs of his knuckles sticking out against the thinned-out skin and the yellowed nails he’s pushing against the blanket, the fourth and fifth ones of his right hand missing. They shake, no matter how long he looks at them and how hard he tries to make them stay still, and he can feel a voice whispering in the back of his mind, tone too familiar to ignore. Weak. 

“I didn’t die,” he says when Punz doesn’t reply, looking at his scarred hands, weak hands, broken hands. “So it’s okay. We can keep- we can keep going.”

“Dream-” their voice is a blade scraping against an anvil, nails scraping over his ribs, his hands clamping over his ears before he’s realized he’s moved and his brain screaming at him for doing so once he realizes that he has, “-what the fuck are you talking about?” 

Still, he hadn’t survived months of Quackity’s visits by bending over the second he was pushed, so he forces his tongue to move from where it’s fallen to the bottom of his mouth like lead, feels his eyes go steely even from under the way his vision has already begun to wobble. 

“It’s not over yet,” he continues, trying to keep his words even, “‘cause I didn’t die, so we’re not done. I gotta- we have to reevaluate, of course,” he can’t stop, because the second he stops talking is the second he falls apart, so he ignores the way that Punz stiffens and stills and doesn’t let anything stop the flow of words spilling out of his mouth, “because the vault and the prison- um, obviously didn’t go as planned, but it’s fine. Just a minor- um, minor inconvenience. A setback- but it’s not- it’s not unsalvageable- we just have to-”

“Are you kidding me?” Punz cuts him off with a sharp laugh, disbelieving and just on the wrong side of desperate, and the air in Dream’s lungs freezes into a solid block of ice in the middle of his chest, “you- you’ve got to be kidding me.” 

“Punz?”

Dream’s voice comes out small, himself shrinking back into the bed, keenly aware, suddenly, of how there is nowhere he can go to run - Punz doesn’t seem to notice that he’s spoken at all, one of his hands moving up to tug through his hair, which is - now that Dream is looking - fluffier and messier than he remembers, sticking up in all directions like they didn’t bother to smooth it down.

“You think this is fine? You think that because you didn’t fucking die, that this is all okay?” Punz’s voice rises in volume slowly, not loud enough to be a shout but enough to go hard and unyielding like a threat, and with each word every remnant of the vault comes crawling, clawing back up to the front of his head, a pounding reminder to play his role, put on a show, behave behave behave-

“Goddammit, Dream,” Punz startles him out of his own thoughts, looking straight into his eyes with their ice-blue ones, “have you seen yourself?”

 Have you seen yourself? Lying down in your own goddamn filth like a fucking mutt- prime, you disgust me. 

“Your ribs were basically shattered. Your legs had fractures on both sides, and your back was so fucking torn up that it looked like more blood than skin. You’ve been starved- enough for me to see every goddamn bone in your body, it feels like. Your throat was bruised to hell- I wasn’t sure if you were gonna be able to speak again, fuck, and like a day after we got here you got fucking pneumonia.” Punz’s breath hitches, “Your skin was a literal fucking oven- I thought you’d bake yourself from the inside out. You could’ve died- you should’ve died.”

 You should’ve died a hell of a long time ago, pal- should’ve saved us all the fucking trouble and offed yourself like Wilbur fucking Soot.

He flinches, and this, Punz seems to notice, eyes widening a fraction before they pitch their voce lower, clearly taking a few breaths to calm down and reaching forward to take one of Dream’s hands loosely in his own, thumb smoothing over the bumps of his knuckles. 

“You’re not fine,” he says after a long while, shaking his head. “Hell- I’m not fine. But we’re not doing anything like- like the vault or the prison again, dude. I told you they were shit ideas- fuck. We never should’ve done that.”

“It was worth it,” Dream butts in, because he can’t imagine a world where it wasn’t, can’t imagine a world where all of that was for nothing, “it was worth it-” 

“No it fucking wasn’t, are you out of your mind?” Punz replies immediately, voice overlapping over Dream’s own, “have you listened to a single thing I’ve said? You- look at you! How was that worth it?”

Dream shakes his head stubbornly, already feeling the way his jaw is trembling around the words he forces himself to speak. “The server- it was all for the server-”

“Fuck the server!” 

Punz seems startled by their own shout, drawing back at the same time Dream does, breathing ragged. He takes a few seconds to compose himself, bringing his hand to his face as Dream sits stock still, not daring to move, hardly daring to breathe. 

“Fuck the fucking server, okay?” Punz says, finally, voice cracking in the middle, “You lost two damn lives for this server. You got fucking tortured for fucking months for this shitstain of a server. Just- fuck them. I’m not watching you tear yourself to fucking shreds for this- not again. I can’t sit around and watch you fucking die again, Dream, I can’t drag you out bleeding out in my fucking arms again- fuck-” Punz shakes their head, and oh. They’re crying. 

“No more. Fuck the server. I’m done, Dream- we’re done with them.” 

Dream blinks, so thoroughly surprised that he thinks the shock knocked him straight out of the building panic attack, leaving nothing but a slight thrumming of anxiety still simmering beneath his skin. Almost instinctually, in a motion he doesn’t really remember but still has the muscle memory for, he opens his arms- and in a similar, near-unconscious response, Punz tumbles into his arms. 

He blinks, not moving his arms to curl around the other, feeling the weight of another person against his again and the sound of their breathing and relearning them both. This is- new, for both of them. Dream was never emotional, not before the prison, not that he wanted to be after it either- but Quackity always had a particular affinity for tearing him apart, shard by shard. And Punz- he’d never been like this, even back in the day, when things were easier and they didn’t bear the constant burden of netherite against their backs. They’d always been stoic, sharp, sarcastic, cool and dry in a way that chafed against Sapnap’s fire and always led to Dream laughing at them sooner or later. He sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, feeling the heat behind his eyes finally sear too hot and boil over, tears squeezing through his closed eyes and falling down his face. 

“Okay,” he says, finally, and there’s nothing easy about the acquiescence, not when he had poured blood and sweat and the better half of himself into this place, salted the earth with his tears until no more would come and nothing else would grow. He thinks that he will have more to think and more to say and more to protest come the next days, that the binds between him and his goals have been weaved too deep with the fibers of his soul for him to tear them free without sacrificing what broken pieces of himself he has left, but all he can think right now is how fucking tired he is. He remembers Techno’s voice, going through myth after myth to pass time in the prison, and thinks with something like humor and something like grief - let someone else be Atlas for a day. The sky is too heavy right now. Punz’s arms tighten around his body, enough to remind him that they’re there but not enough to press at his still-healing ribs, and he thinks that they might understand. “Okay.” 

[writertitan]

Regimens

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 2834

themes: modern au, established relationship vibes, just so much fluff, it’s ridiculous how cute i tried to make this

requested by anon

“No.”

“Levi, please-”

“No.” 

With a huff, you set down the brush you liked to use to apply your clay masks, and internally debated if a pout and some more pleading would entice Levi into just giving in and letting you do your skincare routine on him. You had no idea why he was so against the idea; if anything, Levi loved taking care of himself. Sometimes, he was a little too high maintenance. You’d been so convinced he would actually like joining in on your skincare routine. On your own face, the clay mask was already coated on with a fuzzy headband keeping your hair out of it. You’d gotten the idea to also try to get Levi in on it, but to no avail. 

You tried again, after deciding that it would do some good to bring out the pout. 

“Levi, I swear you’ll like it-”

“I’m not gonna let you put mud on my face, idiot,” he deadpanned, and you whined. 

“It’s not mud! And it’s good for your skin!” 

“Not doing it.” 

“Ugh!” you cried out and slumped back against your couch, crossing your arms over your chest. Clearly, he was being stubborn. But you could negotiate. You brought your legs up onto the couch and nudged his thigh with your foot gently, frowning when he refused to look at you and instead kept his gaze on the TV. 

“Fine, no clay mask. How about a sheet mask? And then my usual routine?” 

“All of that skincare shit you buy doesn’t even work,” Levi said bluntly, finally peeking at you out of the corner of his eye. “It just smells good. You’re better off being smart like me and buying generic lotion that works just fine instead of wasting money buying a million different things.” 

“Let me prove you wrong,” you challenged, a gleam in your eye as you lifted your chin defiantly. “Your 3-in-1 shit is abysmal.” 

“It’s abysmal that you think I would stoop so low as to buy 3-in-1 anything,” Levi scoffed. “I just don’t throw my money at retinas or whatever the fuck you’re buying.” 

“Retinol,” you corrected. 

Levi groaned, eyes fully on you now. “It’s kind of insulting, y’know. Are you saying I have bad skin or something? Because it looks and feels fine to me.” 

“You have great skin, I just want to show you how I can make it positively glow,” you crowed, trying your best to really sell the experience. You pouted again when Levi stayed quiet, foot prodding against his thigh once more. “Plus, it would be really fun and would mean a lot to me, to let me fuck around with your face for the night.” 

The resigned look in his eyes and the sigh he let out told you that you’d won, and you squealed in victory before you leaned in to give him a grateful little peck on the lips. 

“Okay, I’ll be right back! I’m gonna use my best stuff on you!” In a flash you were gone, leaving a slightly bewildered Levi on the couch as you rummaged through your collection of skincare. It wasn’t the biggest collection by any means, nor was it very fancy, but you had a little routine going and liked the products you did have. 

You settled on the sheet mask for Levi, a new toner you’d been liking, your favorite serum, and your go-to moisturizer. A simple night routine, not wanting to push Levi too far by going all out with a more elaborate regimen. Especially when you were going to force one of your fuzzy headbands upon him. When you returned with your arms full of product, Levi gave you a look that screamed, Good lord what have I gotten myself into?

You spread the products out on the coffee table and then waved your fuzzy headband in his face, which made his eyes flash instantly. He was about to vehemently protest, you could tell, but you were already whining, and about to make a very good case. 

“Just do it, Levi! I wouldn’t want to mess up your precious hair.” 

At that, Levi simmered down, but there was no shortage of grumbling as you put the headband on him to secure his hair out of his face. 

“Okay, since it’s nighttime, this is more of a night routine-”

“You have a day routine and a night routine?” Levi asked, his tone slightly disbelieving, slightly condescending. 

You nodded once, not the least bit bothered, and continued explaining. “Since this is a night routine, it’s more about prevention and repair. I’m gonna use the toner first, to prep you for everything else.” You grabbed a cotton ball and carefully dotted some drops of toner into it, bringing it up to Levi’s face. Slowly, you dabbed the product into his face, ignoring the very steely gaze that was searing into your face. Still, Levi remained quiet and let you do all the work, his eyes on your face the entire time. You, on the other hand, morphed your expression into one of concentration, but you were careful not to make too much facial movement - your mask was slowly stiffening up and you didn’t want it to crack. 

You ripped open the package of the sheet mask, gingerly pressing it onto Levi’s face. He winced at the slight cold of it, but otherwise stayed still as you adjusted it on his face. It took everything in you not to grin at this new imagery of your boyfriend; wearing a fuzzy headband, sheet mask on, a lethal stare in his eyes...he looked absolutely precious. 

After ensuring Levi’s mask was in place, you snuggled into his side, busy on your phone while you looked at your timer. You’d set one for 20 minutes after applying your mask, and there were about 15 minutes left - still a good amount of time to let his mask do its work. 

“We’re gonna leave these on for about 15 minutes,” you explained, setting your phone aside to watch whatever movie Levi was watching. “Then we’ll take them off, rub the excess product into our faces to let it absorb, and then we’ll do the rest.” 

“You’re gonna make me wear this stupid headband for 15 minutes?” 

“Nope.” 

“Good.” 

“I’m gonna make you wear it for longer. This is only the first step in getting your skin fresh and radiant.” 

If you were anyone else in the world, you’d probably be dead. Good thing Levi was in love with you. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Levi reach a hand up and pat his masked cheek, a noticeable grimace appearing on his face. 

“It’s slimy.” 

“Stop complaining,” you said, turning to him fully. He did the same, immediately snorting at the sight of you. 

“Your mask is drying,” he pointed out, a hint of a smirk appearing. “You look kind of terrifying.”

You knew if you quipped back about how he looked, it’d be the end of this little experiment and he wouldn’t be so keen to participate anymore. So, you bit your tongue and made a noncommittal grunt, relaxing into Levi’s body while you watched the (kind of boring) movie. After a handful of minutes, you grabbed your phone and opened your camera app, attempting to capture a selfie of you two. Levi immediately caught on and moved out of the way, shielding his face with a hand. 

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna let you document this,” he said, shooting you a warning glance. You huffed and, in your own stubbornness, took a picture of yourself with Levi in the background, hand obscuring his face. It was better than nothing, and you settled back into him, smirking when he wrapped a tentative arm around your shoulder. 

Levi sighed in relief when the timer on your phone went off, and raised a hand to ruffle your hair before you stood. The clay was uncomfortable on your face now and you gave Levi a look as much as you could through the stiff case. 

“Come to the bathroom with me. I’ll wash this off and I’ll show you what to do, okay?”

“What, I can’t just take this off?” Levi asked, following you anyway. You tried your best to be quick with taking off your mask but, as always, rinsing it all off properly took a bit of time. Levi practically tore his sheet mask off and threw it away as you patted your face dry, and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“You have to pat the excess product into your face so it absorbs,” you told him, and Levi wrinkled his nose. 

“It’s slimy.” He voiced his complaint from earlier and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes yet again, but stepped forward to do it for him. 

Instantly, Levi’s eyes closed as your fingertips worked the product into Levi’s skin, very gentle with your actions; you were basically treating him to a mini facial massage. In truth, you were also fully taking advantage of the opportunity to touch him like this, slow and gentle in the way your fingers brushed over his forehead, his cheekbones, his jawline. 

“There,” you whispered, pulling away and wiping off your face. “We’ll let that settle in.” 

Levi grunted but followed you back to your previous place on the couch, and now you were absolutely animated. Once his face was mostly dry, you got to work and grabbed your favorite serum, applying an appropriate amount to your fingers and rubbing them together before pressing them into Levi’s skin again. 

“This is serum. It’s kind of like the sheet mask, but this one you use more often. Face masks aren’t for daily use. This one’s my favorite and really evens out my skin tone and helps keep my skin hydrated overnight, especially because you’re supposed to apply before moisturizer to lock it all in, so to speak.” You were mostly rambling, just wanting to keep Levi in the loop to keep his complaining at bay, but he was genuinely listening, which made you smile. 

Again, you were pulled into a state of concentration as you blended the serum into Levi’s skin, a smug little smirk playing at your lips when you saw his eyes close and felt him lean into your touch. You made sure to keep your touch steady and soft, taking your time with him as he let you map out his features with your hands. 

“This one’s not slimy,” was all he said, eyes still closed. You rubbed soothing circles into his temples, your eyes glancing over his now fully relaxed face. Giving into temptation, you settled into Levi’s lap, which he allowed with no fuss, and you leaned in to press a slow kiss to his mouth as your fingers traced along his jaw, beckoning him closer. He was happy to return your kiss, hands lazily at your hips to keep you in place, and you pulled away too soon to give him a bright smile, already shifting in his lap to turn towards the final step: moisturizer. 

Levi’s lips chased you in frustration, latching onto your neck as you applied some moisturizer to your fingers. Pulling away from him, his mouth broke free and he frowned at you for interrupting him, but you needed to gain access to his face again. 

“One more thing,” you told him, hands already applying the layer of moisturizer and working it into his skin softly, touch still feathery but deliberate. 

“Smells good.” The first compliment he’d given regarding your skincare routine, and you happily accepted it. 

Once you were done, you leaned back in his lap to examine your work. Breaking into a grin, you nodded once in satisfaction and cupped Levi’s face in your hands. “I knew it. Your skin is luminous, luminous I tell you!” 

Levi scoffed but, to your complete joy, offered a smirk and leaned in to kiss you again, this time short and sweet. You picked up the hand mirror you had brought along and gave it to him, your cocky attitude still present as he examined his face in the mirror. 

“See, what’d I tell you? My stuff does make a difference,” you declared, very much milking the moment. Your head definitely got a little bigger seeing Levi study his face with a little bit of surprise, tilting his head this way and that. 

“You did good, kid,” he finally said, making you beam at the final judgement he’d given. 

“Thanks for letting me do it,” you replied, swiveling around in his lap so your back could press into his chest. You turned your head to press kisses across his cheek, shocked when he pulled away and gave you a stern look. 

“You just did all that to my skin, don’t mess it up,” he said, and you honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. 

“Levi,” you whined, leaning in again, but he pulled away even more, this time with a smirk on his face. To placate you, he turned his head and pressed a full kiss to your lips, which you happily accepted, and you sighed happily into it before pulling away. Levi pressed a short kiss to your forehead and grabbed a throw blanket on the arm of the couch to toss over the two of you, settling into your movie night. 

The screen turned black for a moment and you gazed at your reflections, and your eyes widened for a moment before you turned to look at your boyfriend again. 

“You can take the headband off now,” you reminded him. 

Levi only grunted in response. You said nothing and bit back your smile. 

He didn’t take it off until you took yours off, right before bed. 

-- 

Two days later, and you had made plans to spend the night at Levi’s place this time. There was no need to stop by your place beforehand; at this point, you had essentials over there too, and were looking forward to an evening of unwinding with some wine and whatever Levi had cooked up in the kitchen after your long day. It was a shame that the one thing you didn’t have at Levi’s was a dedicated skincare kit, so you could relax with a mask on and pamper yourself just a little. Only the travel-sized stuff you brought in your purse would be used tonight. 

Picking out the key Levi had given you to his place out of the jumble of them on your keyring, you pushed it into the lock and turned, giving a half-hearted knock as you stepped in. 

“Hi, I’m here!” you called into the apartment, eyes immediately finding Levi in the kitchen, back turned to you as he tended to something on the stove. 

“Hey,” he greeted you, not turning around. You didn’t notice the way he paused for a moment. “You’re here early. Wasn’t expecting you for another half hour.” 

“Yeah, I finished up early. It was a long day,” you sighed, fully about to start into a summary of your day. But first, you were needing a hello kiss, and walked over to Levi nonchalantly after taking off your shoes and coat to go and get it. You set down your bag on the counter and wrapped your arms around Levi’s lean torso, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, then tried to make him turn for a real kiss. “You wouldn’t believe -- oh my god.” 

You never thought you’d see the day. 

“What?” Levi asked, annoyed. Clearly pretending that he wasn’t standing in front of you, a sheet mask on his face, fuzzy headband perfectly in place. This headband was black, however, and you were positive you didn’t own a black one. 

“Nothing, but that better not be one of my masks,” you said, a giggle threatening to burst through at any moment. You knew it. You’d sucked Levi into the world of skincare. There was no telling if this was going to be good or bad. 

And, of course, you couldn’t help the little jab of, “Nice headband.” 

“It was the only kind they had,” Levi quipped a little too quickly, and the giggle that you’d been fighting off escaped your throat, earning you a hard glare. “Don’t start being a brat about this.” 

“I like it,” you told him honestly, hands up in surrender. You snuck a quick kiss to his lips and let him get back to his cooking, while you sauntered to the bathroom to freshen up before dinner. 

When you walked in to see the new arrangement of skincare products, all of them the same as the ones you’d used on him just a couple of days ago, you softened and couldn’t help the grin that seemed permanently etched on your face. You grabbed the box of sheet masks excitedly, poking your head out of the door. 

“Hey, I know I basically said you couldn’t steal my sheet masks, but can I steal one of yours?” 

[shiranuieditorial]

Random question, if that's alright x3

What would you name the daughter of a lawyer, psychopath and murderer? Or what do you think he would name the kid xD Japanese name, the last name being Biwasaka

as in, her father is a lawyer, a psychopath, and a murderer, all at once? i like the sound of that!

here are your options for Biwasaka:

枇杷坂 | loquat slope | stats unavailable

枇杷阪 | variant of the above | ranks 53,087th with ±30 bearers in japan

琵琶坂 | biwa lute slope | ranks 50,711 with ±40 bearers in japan | fun fact: this musical instrument was named after the fruit due to its similar shape!

琵琶阪 | variant of the above | stats unavailable

i recommend going with the first one, as it’s the one most people would immediately think of upon hearing the name biwasaka. it’s also the most aesthetically pleasing out of the four.

here are 18 given names i think could go along with that! unfortunately, in order to give you better customization, i’d need more info on her family and the setting(s) these characters live in, especially your story’s genre, time period, location, and maybe some rough ideas on what her parents/family might value or wish for in her name? so feel free to reply, reblog, message, or send another ask with those details if none of these strike your fancy.

慧應 Eou | wise answer; wise response; wisdom answers | i’m a big fan of baby names that [are supposed to] boast about the bearer’s supreme intellect. it’s especially amusing when the reality doesn’t quite match up with the name (see exhibit: me). as you may or may not be able to guess, this style of name (vowel-heavy or all-vowel) is extremely rare to come across in japan. eou is quite out-there in terms of straying from the beaten path.

紅夢 Koyume | crimson red dreams | very sleek meaning and appearance; brings forth very artistic imagery in readers’ minds. could garner the bearer some envy-laced compliments. would be super duper cool if you could add a symbolism related to this somewhere in your story.

真麗 Marei | true beauty; really pretty | actually not as common and popular as you’d think. still a normal human name though. kinda generic in that it implies the parents/namer is someone who prioritizes a pretty countenance in daughters. it’s not always offensive haha just saying.

翠琴 Mikoto | emerald green koto harp | we’re totally gonna ignore the fact that 翠琴 was the kanji i used for uchiha mikoto’s name for a long time in all verses she appears in, before i decided that the more-likely 尊 was growing on me and would work better for the premises i’d set anyway. look, mikoto is a very versatile reading, and 翠琴 happens to be a very pleasant combination, okay?

萌苺 Moichigo | sprouting strawberries | by default, i like any floral-themed name that doesn’t have 花 in it. this could make for an unexpected discovery that big bads aren’t as resistant to cute, pretty, and squishy stuff as they’d like [you] to think 😻

望奈湖 Monako | wishing for which lake; gazing at which lake | i really like the sound bc i’m low-key a fan of naming people after place names. added bonus in that the -ko ending isn’t 子, which i think is really boring. the na and ko parts are mostly only here for the euphony, so the main part of this name is the 望, which is used in words to mean things like wish, hope, desire, expectation, visit, gaze, full moon, and the 15th day of a lunar month.

七帆 Nanaho | seven sails | the meaning is brilliant, for starters. in my mind, it’s like a purposely corrupted way of saying, “these sails have seen all seven seas and will continue to scavenge for more!” except haha seven sails lol 🐸. additionally, when i say “biwasaka”, my mind and mouth are tempted to follow it up with an A sound again, and it’d be nice if the consonant sounds of B-S-K were balanced-out with an N sound.

寧楽乃 Narano | of tranquility, delight, and music | theoretically, would work best if they/their ancestors were from nara or neiraku, but even if that’s not the case, it should be fine too. it’s a funky neat name on its own, what can i say. i’m just sitting here hoping i didn’t accidentally create a new name with this one.

成実 Narumi | turning into reality; becomes a reality; becomes the truth | for when your criminal parents are very practical and realistic people. (๑♡_♡๑)

夏茂 Natsumo | summer luxuriance; summer exuberance | one-of-a-kind name for a one-of-a-kind girl. if you will it so. especially if her birthday is in summer; and if not, you could always have it be a favorite, special, or significant season/time to one or both of the parents for reasons you should probably start making up right now.

羅介 Rakai | silk gauze and shellfish; the silk gauze mediates | ya ever wanna go batshit gibberish? fuck all, i do whatever i want, no regrets? that’s actually right up a certain handful of parents’ alley out there, believe it or not. yeah, i can vouch that this name has(/had?) a legitimate real-life bearer out there. no idea. i don’t know. i like the chaos though. 🤌

冷光 Reikou | cold light; luminescence | this is an actual noun that exists in the lexicon. it’s what foreigners might call an “object name”, “noun name”, or “word name”. more specifically, this one is akin to naming your child luminescence or luminance or lumina. some folks find this type of naming unappealing, while some are fine with it. opinions differ, just like how people within other cultures will have different thoughts on this.

礼菜 Reina | vegetable of courtesy and gratitude; courteous and mannered vegetable; ceremonial greens | i know many foreigners laugh at the idea of having “vegetable” in your name, but it’s actually not tacky at all in reality! many parents like it bc it’s simple yet pretty, familiar in everyday life yet wearable as a name, represents a staple part of all living creatures’ lives, and is considered important for bringing flavor to your meals and harmony to your life. certain vegetables and dishes have their own symbolisms too. all the symbolisms! hoorah! also, 礼 (“gratitude, thanks, courtesy, manner, etiquette, salute”, but also “ceremony, ritual, gift, reward, bow”), which is the main focus of this name, is really not a bad idea if you fancy your child growing up to be polite.

璃乃亜 Rinoa | lapis lazuli’s inferiority; lapis lazuli’s asia | all 3 parts of this name aren’t to be taken too seriously, bc the main thing here is the euphony, not the semantics. however, 璃 holds the most semantic weight here, so if meanings are important to you, the main focus would be that it has something to do with lapis lazuli, colored glazes, and glass. it’s not necessarily an insult to name your child 亜, but in fiction... it could be if you want.

理緒奈 Riona | what is the beginning of logic and reason? | alternatively, just 理緒 Rio (“the beginning of logic and reason; the inception of logic and reason; the thread ends of logic and reason”) would be a good enough name, if you don’t want to make her full name too long. 3-character family name + 2-character given name is all well and plausible, but 3-character family name + 3-character given name is a sliiiiight bit pushing it for 20th century standards. unless you’re a sumo wrestler; in which case, it’s perfectly fine and recommended to have long dramatic names. don’t let me tell you what to do with your creative work though.

冬蕾 Tourai | winter flower buds | a rare hidden gem. good for sneaking in some symbolism about hard work and fighting through hardships and well-earned success or something like that. i like that it makes the bearer or the namer sound like a cool-headed person.

夜半 Yahan | midnight; dead of the night; half the night | another word name that started out as a noun first and then later started seeing use as a personal name. it’s so perfectly unisex and ready-to-use, i wouldn’t be able to guess the bearer’s gender unless i ask or meet them in person.

結斐 Yui | forging brilliant literary elegance and talent | 結 is commonly used to mean “tie” or “knot”, but can also be interpreted to mean “to fasten up, to forge, to congeal, to conclude, to settle”, and is a common euphony-contributing compound in feminine names. 斐 is a favorite of mine due to its stately elegance and underrated rareness. the 文 radical in there gives it a polished academically-accomplished feel, which is undeniably favourable for many parents.

happy picking and thank you for the request! keep us updated on which one you’ve chosen, and if you need any more names to fill out the story and the family trees!

extra tip: after you’ve narrowed down your favorites, your 2nd, 3rd, and 4th choices could go for her mother, grandmother, aunt, half-sister, step-sister, or friend! multiple targets in one shot! yay!

[btsandvmin]

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child. 

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up “darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him. 

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general. 

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)

[miserabull]

A very long meta-analysis on P2 Bad Grief

So, I've gone over every dialogue with this guy a few times, and there is some stuff I've never seen addressed before. This is a mix of analyzing and theory that have been in my head for a while, and I’d love to know if it all also makes sense to other people

The thing about Classic and P2 Grief, is that they are very different characters playing the same role. Who is Bad Grief? A thief, a kingpin of the town's criminal underbelly, and a smuggler working for Big Vlad. In P1, he's also a dangerous murderer who kills people for fun, but denies it, even claims that he kicks people out of his gang for daring to take up knives. Dude lies a lot. In fact, he maintains the lie up until the last route, the Changeling's, and then tries that on her too but ends up confessing. This is my very wordy way of saying that while I kinda agree with people who are like "he's not a violent murderer like P1 Grief", P1 Grief also claimed to not be one up to the last minute. I don't think they are making him a sadistic killer this time, yeah, but I'm pretty sure he's a liar, and that there's a darker secret. The game implies Grief keeps his cards close to his chest and there is more to him several times, like here, when you talk with Lara's reflection

Lara's Reflection: You see, she puts her stock in deeds and not in words. So Stakh was always close to her; for he would hear his heart, and act. A trait you share, Burakh.

Haruspex: And the most taciturn of us all, Bad Grief.

Lara's Reflection: He speaks so much yet does so much more.

or when Artemy confronts him at Aspity's Hospice:

Bad Grief: You heard about Rubin? Know why the Kin wants him dead? He's walkin' around all downcast, doesn't sleep. Says not to ask. Says it's safer like that. What's he done, I wonder? I wanted to ask Sahba, but maybe you know?

Haruspex: You're lying. That's not what you wanted to ask. I can tell.

Bad Grief: If I did lie, I wouldn't tell you the truth now anyway, would I? So back off. 

I'm not gonna go over the blowing-the-train tracks quest now, though I have some thoughts on it/what I think might be his plan there. For now it suffices to say that that whole thing is very odd, that his plan doesn't make sense(yeah, blowing up the tracks is a bad idea for his business. kinda meaningless though if the alternative is being hanged). That is to say, I'm pretty sure there's a hidden agenda there that we're probably only finding out in Changeling route.

So, what I mean is, if you think P2 Grief is harmless, or just a clown, or became a gang leader by accident, then, well. I think honey, you got a big storm comin'

A few more notes on Grief's character, and what I think of what we got so far:

-I believe the reflection(I have some thoughts about the nature of those too, actually lmao) is telling the truth, mostly. He is terrified, he doesn't want Artemy to think badly of him, he never wanted violence. P2 Grief is younger, more sympathetic, and very obviously more scared than his P1 counterpart. I don't think he's out there killing for fun. Still, I think he has a lot of blood on his hands anyway.

-I think his loyalty to his friends is sincere. He's kind of really big on companionship and loyalty, which fits, as a gang member. I really think that he wants to belong, to a gang, to a friend group, somewhere. Artemy mentions he's "always been weird" a couple of times, or stuff like "I knew you'd end up like this." and that thing with Lara's reflection... I think Grief was always a little bit on the margins, even in his own friend group, and that's why he made a place for himself as the leader of the misfits, of the people who don't fit what the town considers to be good society. I gotta get on with this because this is gonna be long enough without me rambling about every single thought and feeling I have about this bastard though

-He doesn't give away Stakh's hideout accidentally because he's goofy and dumb. He mentions more or less where it is like, three times. I think it's obvious that he's practically asking Artemy to go check on him, but he doesn't want to be a snitch, so he plays the fool like "Oooh no I gave you a hint, I sure hope you don't go looking for him now, don't ask me because I’d never tell!!". He's playing the clown, he's not that stupid

Okay, now we're getting to the heart of things. In P1, along with the reveal that he's actually a violent murderer who played another violent murderer(Barley) into taking the fall for his crimes, we get something else: he's working under the patronage and protection of Vlad Olgimsky. In P2, they put a lot more emphasis on that, Grief will tell you about it in the first AND second conversation you have. There is even a certain imagery associated with it... actually, allow me a quick digression here, I wanna go over some motifs around Grief. 

Grief is pretty into clockwork and gears, going by his choice of decoration for his Lair. The town itself is compared to a machine several times, by himself, by Big Vlad, and regarding how the Kains view it. I risk to say that the way Grief sees it is rather different from the Kains, at least at first.  For him it seems to be more of a blunt factory machine, while to the Kains...it means something else, more complex. Grief seems to have glimpsed what that is inside the Cathedral, near the end. That reminds me of something else, in the Diurnal End when Grief talks about how he used to be a clocksmith before, and now he's going to be "another kind of clocksmith", I don't think he's necessarily being literal in either case. Curiously, there's also a Clocksmith inside the Cathedral in Marble Nest...but I'm going off topic again

Bad Grief: Not a keeper of stores, but stories. This town, this great machine, the gears don't turn on their own, no, not till they're slick with secrets. 

But so, webs and puppets. We return to Vlad Olgimsky(old), who uses the metaphor of his “web”. There's also an important character in Grief's journey that is strongly associated with (spider)webs and strings, and that's Aglaya. The most notable time Grief himself refers to it though, I think, it's in the Theatre of Death, if you let him die:

“My path was not called 'The Spider'. No, think wider. It was 'The Silkworm'! The end of a railroad, I pulled strings firm; unaware someone more cunning pulled mine upstairs.”

So about that. He’s referring to the PTB right? Probably, but not only. A theme in Patho is like...these layers of manipulation. I’m gonna pass the mic to P1 Clara and Saburov for a second:

Alexander Saburov: Begin with the Olgimskys. That is the most important sin for me, and the least for him, for it is not his fault. So did Olgimsky protect his illicit trade? Did he benefit from it?

Changeling: He didn't just benefit; he presided over it. Grief was his stooge.

Alexander Saburov: Now then, we shall skip the issue of the barber gang, since it's clear now who their true mastermind was... thanks to your courage, my brave girl.

Changeling: Don't skip it just yet. Barley was as much of a puppet in Grief's hands as Grief himself was for Olgimsky. Everyone has their toys.”

Grief is a puppet in Vlad’s hands both in P1 and P2, as there he says he’s Vlads “eyes and ears” in the warehouses. In the Cathedral, he seems to more or less realize the extent of it, and how it goes against what he always wanted in the first place: to not be trapped by anything. 

Bad Grief: I used to be a thief, yet they made me a storekeeper. And what a perfect fit I made! I got my Warehouse kingdom, and with it, the insides of the Town's great machine. I kept Vlad's riches while havin' all I could dream of. Can't imagine a sweeter life.

Funnily enough, by that time he’s trapped in someone else’s web: Aglaya’s. That seems to be his thing, he thought he was in control and playing everyone, knowing all the secrets and pulling strings. In the end, he’s a Silkworm in the web of bigger fish. I mean, spiders.

Bad Grief: ...Yet they, too, are controlled by someone. Insane to think what kind of teeth you need for that.

But okay. Back to the start, I believe Grief has a lot of blood in his hands even before shit breaks loose. The things he seems to be most afraid of are also… interesting. This ties to his connection to Big Vlad, and the Kin.

Grief’s role in the payroll seems to be as a stool pigeon. He knows where everyone goes, what people are talking about, what they don’t want to become public. And he responds to Big Vlad. What I think is, hm, you know, even after Victoria passed it seems like the Kin and the Bull Enterprise never really defied Olgimsky, or had a leader in any way. Grief, too, seems to enjoy a pretty comfortable life for a gang leader. As an important piece to Vlad, he really doesn’t have that much to fear, since the guy “owns everything” and is very explicit to Artemy about how he can destroy anyone who doesn’t obey him. And probably has done that before. My guess is, Grief kept the machine working right by tattling, so no leadership or enemy to Vlad’s Enterprise could rise. I’d speculate that Vlad possibly paid the favor not only financially, but by maintaining Grief in that position. Basically, I think with Grief’s info, Vlad could eliminate any potential problem. That would mean that maybe without even having to shed blood himself there might be a lot of deaths Grief is responsible for, not to speak of the maintenance of that horrible system in the town. I think the route they are going for here is that Grief is a class traitor.

Why do I say that? Well, first let’s look at Grief’s relationship with the Kin: he’s remarkably close to them for a townie. Geographically, obviously, and also in the sense of living on the margins of society, but he also shares many of their superstitions, and seems to hold Aspity’s opinion in high regard(even calls her Sahba). I find it easy to believe that many of his men are part of the community as well, due to not being welcome in the town. At that time we see him in the Hospice though, and talking with the Kin people there, it’s pretty clear that they are planning some sort of uprising. That it’s imminent. Grief seems to know it. Seems to be absolutely terrified of that too, and to feel betrayed by Vlad.

Bad Grief: It's too late for me, Cub. I've only got one road ahead of me now. Perhaps the outbreak is for the best... Plagues are like fires, people forget old scores. And all hell will break loose here soon.

Haruspex: Any dark prophecies to share? You're the criminal mastermind here, after all.

Bad Grief: No need to prophesize. People fear hunger. Even honest workers will turn their hatchets and hammers to crime. Burglin' houses, lootin' corpses, guttin' each other. They will. Oh, they will.

Haruspex: Not all of them, Grief. Not all.

Bad Grief: The turf's so dry, you don't even need a match-a glare would start a fire. And when the Kin bares its teeth, that's when we'll all dance! They're slow on the start, but oh so fast on the draw! The Master likes them mute and obedient, but apathy makes them that way, not stupidity. They're only obedient till the time comes. And here it comes.

And the people who lose their jobs? They won't be too fond of staying home. They'll find new hobbies, like looking for food, or venting their anger. ...And Fat Vlad shut his facilities down the day before yesterday, didn't he? Crafty... Didn't whisper so much as a single word to me. Do you think he knew?

At the same time he seems to think that he deserves this, and it’s inevitable. “We reap what we sow”, paraphrasing him. He talks a few times about how there’s a vile beast inside each person in the town, about how they are all wretched and everything, including him, which I think might just be a way of coping like “yeah, I sold out, but anyone would do the same if they were in my place”. 

So, yeah. What I think is that Grief was a guy that had no power and money, with absolutely no perspective, who due to his very particular skills had an opportunity to climb up and took it(all while still getting to pretend he’s an outlaw, free from the chains of society!). And it’s...very bad. And he knows it’s very bad, and he’s not evil or sadistic, but he’s immature, cowardly, and desperately wants to be in control of his own destiny, and to not be alone, and all that. He’s still Artemy’s childhood buddy, a loyal friend, and someone who never really wanted to cause that much damage. He also knows that what he did is unjustifiable, and that no matter what he truly feels, the damage is done and he’s guilty of horrible shit.